I’ve fallen for my late husband’s best friend and no one is pleased

I am a 46-year-old widow. I lost my husband two years ago. We had no children. Initially I threw myself into my work and got on with my life.

My family and my inlaws were always very good to me. But that has changed since I started seeing my late husband’s best friend.

We had kept in close contact as we both missed him very much. We didn’t let on to anyone that our friendship had developed into a relationship.

When we decided as two adults that we didn’t care who knew, there was all sorts of gossip. My partner had been in a long-term relationship so I presume that has to be it. My mother feels that I’m not thinking properly and only seeing this man because I miss my husband. All I’m doing is trying to rebuild my life.

He has got the same cold shoulder. He knows both sets of families very well and it’s as hard for him as for me. I didn’t put a gun to his head. We just fell in love. I wouldn’t bother, only I am a family kind of person and like to be involved in my family. This is making all that very difficult.

Ithink there is a mixture of issues here. Both families are worried about you that maybe this is an emotional reaction to losing your husband. They may also be concerned that his best friend was literally the most predictable person for you, and they are suspicious of that.

The fact that he was in a long-term relationship may have caused alarm bells to ring. They are thinking of you, just showing it the wrong way. The last thing you need is tension with the people you love. It’s important that you continue to be involved with family socially.

However, you are a woman who, although you have been through a tragic time in your life, needs to make decisions like this for herself. And you would like to think you have the blessing of those closest to you.