Not counting chickens as stars return to action with lockdown look
AFTER WEEKS of going cold turkey and suffering sweaty withdrawal symptoms, all of a sudden it’s not a bad time to be a sports fan as an ever-widening chink of light appears at the end of the dark tunnel.
I won’t be counting chickens given that one setback could scupper the best laid plans, but all things going well we’ll see teams take to the playing fields in the not-too-distant future.
One thing that is certain is that it won’t be sport as we knew it, with strict protocols having to be adhered to, and any talk of crowds, albeit reduced ones, attending big games is premature and speculation at best.
Players are itching to get back to the sports that they love, but when they do return it’s sure to be very different than the last time they strutted on to the field with confidence.
We’re all unique human beings so it’s only natural that we’ll all have different feelings about what lies ahead. There will be those that will embrace it like a long-lost friend, while others might tip-toe cautiously back into it.
Some might not want to return at all this year, for fear of contracting the virus and putting a vulnerable relative at risk, but that’s fine too and nobody should be ridiculed for their point of view.
Then there’s others whose most pressing concern is that they can’t get a decent haircut before the return to training with the lads, but they’ll just have to grin and bear it like some of the beleaguered snooker players that I’ve watched on ITV4 over the past week.
However, Ronnie O’Sullivan seems to have gone for rugged look by choice, sporting a magnificent moustache that would rest well on the upper lip of a mean gun-slinging cowboy in a dusty, sawdust-filled saloon.
The tache was so captivating that I thought about making a series about it. How about The Two Ronnies as a provisional title?
Another player really rocking the lockdown look is Neil Robertson. The Australian is blessed with a barnet that’s wilder than a windy winter’s evening on the Wild Atlantic Way.
A magnificent cross between an alpaca’s wool, a Russian hat, and somewhere you’d expect a weary low-flying seagull to take refuge for the night.
Our own Ken Doherty was looking a little less unkempt as he tried to roll back the years at the Championship League in Milton Keynes, falling just short in his bid to top the group after plenty of late night drama.
Snooker is better equipped than most sports to be played without an audience as it’s not as overly dependent on atmosphere and the oohs and aahs of the crowd.
However, it still feels a bit alien and eerie when a magnificent pot, big break or frame-winning shot is greeted with stony silence instead of a spontaneous burst of rapturous applause.
Players are also finding it hard to get used to the new regime as they constantly reach for the shared rest under the table, in
stead of making the walk to the corner of the room to collect their own, and they often stroll a couple of steps towards their opponent to shake hands at the end of a contest before realising it’s not the done thing these days.
Horse racing is the other live sport that has broken the dominance of snooker on terrestrial television in the past week, and again the protocol takes a bit of getting used to.
There’s the odd awkward silence as presenters and guests try to utilise Zoom to the best of their ability to keep the show on the road, horses going hell for leather in front of ghostly empty stands, and more masks on show than an Avengers movie.
Speaking of masks, the good wife happened to walk into the room when champion jockey Oisín Murphy was being interviewed after another win, and laughingly queried why he was wearing an underpants on his face as it wasn’t the most flattering of coverings.
Thankfully the Kerryman’s race riding was far from pants as he illustrated his talents as a horseman on numerous occasions over the weekend. He comes across as a decent character as well, somebody who doesn’t take himself overly seriously, and we’re all going to have to try to be a bit like that and not be too self-conscious in the weeks and months ahead.
Some of this ‘new normal’ stuff is far from normal, but we’ll have to be prepared to look a bit silly at times for the greater good.
If I have to put a nappy on my face when the green light flashes for a return to the local pitch so be it. As plenty of snooker players with dodgy hair have shown, sometimes your sense of style has to go out the window.
One thing’s for sure, there will certainly be a long queue (or should I say cue) outside the barbers’ shops once they open their doors.
It’s probably a good thing that people have to pack away their conceit and just get on with it, as a constant focus on image is never a good thing.
That said, many like to look their best simply to feel good about themselves, and after enduring tough times of late I guess we all deserve that much.