The secret confession ...I was abused by man
F ORAgenerationwhogrewupinthe1980s,SueTownsend’snovelsandplaysshrewdlyepito - misedaneradominatedbytheriseofMargaret Thatcherandtheangrydeclineoftheunions.
Hercaptivatingnovel,The DiaryOfAdrianMoleAged13¾,whichchartedateenager’shilariousandoftenturbulenthurtle
throughadolescence,wasthe idealvehicleforSuetoaccommodatesharpobservationinthe guiseofhumour.
Itdeftlycapturedtheabsurdityandclaustrophobiathatteenag - ersfeelinthefamilyhomeandswiftlybecamethepublishing phenomenonofthedecade.
Itssequelsandherothersuc - cessfulnovelsandplays–includingthequirkyQueenAndI,whichhadtheBritishroyalfamilyliv - inginacouncilhouse–captured themoodinBritainsoeffectivelytheygaveherauniqueand definingroleinsocialhistory.
Yetdespitetheoptimismofher stories,andherlarger -than-lifepersonality,SueT ownsend,whodiedlastmonthaged68,livedwithatroublingandattimescripplingsecret.
Sherevealeditjustonce,earlyin hercareerin1983,totheeminentbiographerandliterarycriticJohn Lahrinalong-forgottenpiecethat hewroteforthenowdefunctmaga - zineNewSociety.
Themanshecalled‘Daddy’,shetoldLahr ,wasatotalstrangershehadmetforthefirsttimewhenshewas11.Thisman,whosenamewasJohnBall,justappearedatbreakfastonemorninghavingmarriedhermother,Grace.SueandhertwoyoungersistersweretoldtocallhimDaddy.Herrealfatherhadsimplydisappeared.‘Thewholethingwasalie,’shetoldLahr.
Sounsettlingwasthisbriefadmis - sion,itwastheonlyoccasioninherlifetimesheallowedittobeaired.ChainsmokingthroughoutherinterviewwithLahr,shereferredrepeatedlytotheanxietythatconsumedheratthethoughtofspeakingout.
‘Iwasinaconstantstateoffear .I thinkIhadtheearliestbreakdownknowntochildorwoman,’shesaid.
TherewasoneobservationinLahr’sarticlethatwaspar - ticularlychilling.
‘Theconspiracyofparen - talsilenceleftitsmarkon Townsend,’hewrote.‘Even nowthethoughtofbreaking theparentaltaboototalk aboutherfamilyscaresher.’
ButnowheredidLahrrevealorspeculateonwhat thesourceofthisenduringI terrormighthavebeen.TWASthememoryof thisstrangechildhood incident,anditssinis - terundertones,thatwasuppermostinmymind when,in1994,Iwentto Sue’shomeinLeicesterintheEastMidlandstointer - viewherfortheMoS.Bythistimeshewasinternationally famous,themostcommer - ciallysuccessfulBritish writerofhergeneration.
AndIthoughtitwasodd thatinnoneofthemyriadinterviewsthatSuehaddonesincebecomingfamousdidsheeveragainmentionthestoryofher‘daddy’–eventhoughfamilies,oftenamusinglydysfunctional,playcen - trestageinherbest-knownworks.
Suewasmuchprettierthanherphotographssuggestedandwasrelaxedandchattyaswesatinthecomfortableandshamboliclivi groomofherramblinghouse.Hermuch-lovedsecondhusbandColin,a canoemaker ,wasawayandsowewerealone.
Shehadbakedacake,andmadetea.Sheexplainedthatshelearnedalot aboutcakebakingasasinglemother ofthreeinher20s.Itmadeherfeel shewasagoodmother,shesaid,whensomuchofthetimeshewasabsent fromhomeholdingdownthreejobsatatimetosupportherfamily.
Theadmissionthatfollowed,how - ever,couldnothavebeenmorejar - ringlyatoddswiththesceneofcosydomesticityshehadcreated:thestrangerfoistedonherfamily ,shesaid,hadsexuallyabusedher.
Itseemsunlikelytobeacoinci - dencethatSuefirstbegantowriteattheageof12,ayearaftersheandhersisterswereintroducedtoBall,thestepfatherwhoplayedsucha
destructivepartinherlife.Likeherfictionalhero,shekeptherwritingsecret,andwouldcontinuetodosofor20years.
‘Imusthavebeenaverystrangechild.Iwasverypretentious. LikeAdrianMole,’sheoncesaid.
Suewasbornin1946, theeldestofthreedaughters,andgrewupinatinycouncilhouse.HerrealfatherwasHerbertJohnstone,aboutwhomlittleisknownexceptthathediedat34whenshewaseight.Sueandhersistersdidn’tgotothefuneral.Theyweretoldnothing.Justpackedofftoschool,asusual.
Hisdeathwasneverdiscussed,shesaid,hesimplydisappearedfromtheirfamilylife–thoughnotfromSue’smemory.ShekeptJohnstoneashermaidenname,usingthiswhenshemarriedforthefirsttimeat18.
Herfirsthusband,asheetmetal worker,leftherfiveyearslaterwiththreeyoungchildrentobringup.Suewentontoworkinavarietyof oddjobs,includingfactoryworker ,