OH MY, WHAT A JAG YOU ARE
Big, blisteringly fast and a joy to sit in
The motion picture Interstellar opens this weekend, and I was lucky enough to interview two of its cast – both female, both gorgeous, both brilliant. Anne (an Oscar winner) Hathaway was lovely, extremely accommodating and keen to please, even though she was ‘frazzled’ with jet-lag; Jessica Chastain (Oscar nominee) was even more lovely, extremely accommodating and, to my utter surprise, totally beguiling. And I mean really, quite frighteningly beguiling, in a hypnotic ‘I’ve got you under my spell and you will only say nice things about me’ way. Which obviously worked.
Anyway, they are both excellent in the movie, which is the work of genius English director Christopher Nolan. But film is not the only thing Britain is getting good at again. Many super brands are back in demand.
Take the global success story that is Jaguar Land Rover. Tata, the parent company of JLR for the past six years, always planned to sort out Land Rover first before focusing on Jaguar. All it takes to bring even the most ailing past master back to life is the right size defibrillator. Cue the next stage of Jaguar’s recovery and rehabilitation, the stealth-like XFR-S Sportbrake.
First, the name. Goodness knows why such vehicles are referred to as ‘brakes’ in the first place. The only theory I can come up with was that it’s a posh word for estate, as such cars are often preceded by the word ‘ shooting’ and more likely than not come from the factories of messrs Rolls & Royce, Bentley and Maserati, or even Ferrari, which had a go with the hideous 365.
The other trait these models usually share is they also happen to be miles more expensive than ‘normal’ estate cars. In this category, the XFR-S automatically gains entry, thanks to its tad on the strong side (ahem) price tag of circa €110,000 plus VRT (with extras). It’s okay, you are forgiven if you’ve just spat your tea over Granny, that certainly does seem like a whole load of dough. That said, Audi’s RS6 Avant isn’t far behind and this is where Jaguar has a fight on its hands. The Audi is cheaper and rules this sector, not least because its estate/ brake/avant RS6 looks better than the saloon version. The Jag Sportbrake, however, struggles to pull off a similar trick. From the waist down she is positively Ford or dare I say it no more than Opel in her aesthetic aspirations.
Whereas the Audi is 4x4 and looks like it might survive any forthcoming Armageddon, our lady Jag is hind legs only, which is tons of fun but no good if we get another snow-filled winter. I really don’t fancy lamely spinning into a ditch while old Helmut pompously rolls by with his nose in the air and the wind in his sails.
And I’m sorry but there’s more – both the RS6 and the XFR-S are the same size, give or take, so how come the Jag’s rear passenger legroom has been ‘ hatchbacked’ whereas the Audi’s feels like you could be in the swanky section of a transatlantic airliner.
All right, enough now. Let’s give a big thumbs up to the Sportbrake’s stronger points. Take the driving position, for example. It actually doesn’t matter what you think when you first get in, as it’s the most versatile driving environment I’ve ever had the good fortune to adjust. Everything, except the dashboard, can be moved and trimmed to a combination that best suits you and you alone, and she just feels so good once you settle down to make yourself comfortable. You become part of the car as opposed to just sitting in her. It’s like she wants you to be her partner as opposed to just a passenger who happens to have his hands on the steering wheel. I have no idea how one puts a value on such a quality, but it is unmistakably there, so has to come into the equation.
The vast majority of the instrumentation has all been seen before, though, with the gear selector, infotainment, sat-nav and con-
SHE JUST FEELS SO GOOD. YOU BECOME PART OF THE CAR, AS OPPOSED TO JUST SITTING IN HER
trol panel more or less a carbon copy of what can be found in any decent spec Range Rover. I think I liked that, whereas I know for sure I liked the leather: cool, understated and clearly not from the cheap side of the farmer’s tracks. I also loved the completely gratuitous automatic revolving air vents, which I couldn’t see any point for, other than to make the dashboard look sleek and clean – but only when you’re not there to see it. Nevertheless, every time they swivelled into place, they caused a ripple of that ridiculously silly joy that can sometimes be the difference between starting your day with a smile or a scowl.
Back to comparetherivals.com. Boot space in the XFR-S (a major factor in the estate game) is ample, if a bit wanting when it comes to the flimsy parcel shelf pullover thingy. (Sorry, but the Audi’s involves some delightful and dare I say beautiful engineering.) However, when it then comes to the ultimate sprint finish our girl easily comes in first. Though technically there is little actual difference between her top