SMOKES& DAGGERS

Inside the corridors of power...

With the Garda Inspectorate report in the headlines, it’s interesting to ponder how we dealt with social transgressions in the past. Researcher Conal Creedon found and tweeted the following from the Newcastle Courant of December 5, 1773: ‘Cork, November 23. Last week, an old fellow of 60, being catch’d in bed with another man’s wife, the mayor sent them both to [the] Bridewell; and afterwards they were carried on horseback about the city, with drums beating before them; the woman rode astride with goat’s horns on her head, with her face to the horse’s head, the man with his face to the horse’s tail.’ The mayor, Samuel Rowland, sounds like Smokes’s kind of mayor. ACTOR Tom Vaughan Lawlor said he was ‘looking forward to future challenges’ after the bloody demise of his Love/Hate character, Nidge. Sure enough, he was straight back into action on Friday night – as fourth official in the Scotland versus Republic of Ireland match, pictured. WE DON’T know whether soccer-mad TD Mick Wallace was at Celtic Park on Friday for the big match but his tatty, torn, faded denims certainly were. Except they were being worn by a Dáil colleague, Labour’s Aodhán Ó Riordán. He tweeted a picture of himself beside the statue of Celtic’s founder, Sligoman Brother Walfrid, wearing the grungy jeans. Surely not how a minister of State should disport himself abroad. THE same Br. Walfrid inadvertently gave rise to one of Smokes’s favourite pieces of invective. Walfrid invited Michael Davitt to lay the first sod, brought from Donegal, at Celtic Park. But the precious turf was stolen that very night, inspiring the following anonymous poem: ‘The curse of Cromwell blast the hand that stole the sod that Michael cut. May all his praties turn to sand, the crawling, thieving, snivelling scut.’ MARY Lou McDonald was up to her neck in hot water after her petulant Dáil sit-in. So she can be forgiven for her glee at sharing a picture of an ironically unfortunate Irish Water van stranded in flooding in Dublin yesterday, with the caption: ‘Sorry. Couldn’t resist.’