My boy needed help but the system failed him and wrecked our lives
THE mother of an adopted boy who murdered his two brothers has said she welcomes any move that will give a child in care more stability.
Helen O’Driscoll’s adopted son Jonathan stabbed twin nine-yearolds Thomas and Patrick O’Driscoll, on September 4 before taking his own life.
The twins would have celebrated their 10th birthdays this week.
Their mother said Jonathan, 21, who was fostered by the O’Driscolls until his adoption at 13, should have been adopted sooner. ‘There was no consistency with the social workers,’ said Helen. ‘They changed things a couple of times and it just became very long. They give them [the children] information when they are not able to cope with it.
‘Jonathan struggled a lot with it all. The system is really bad here. We had to wait a long time before we could adopt him. He was left in limbo. I knew his birth mother’s identity – she gave consent, from day one for him to be adopted. It took years to adopt him because of things that kept changing. It was hard on him. He struggled with that. He wanted to be my son, my adopted child anyway.
‘I’m angry. I’m raging at times, to tell the truth’
‘I don’t think he would have had so much difficulty if the door was opened for him, God love him.’
Helen believes children who are fostered should be given more stability and the option of adoption.
‘They leave children in foster care for too long. Jonathan was with me since the day he was born. He was my child, God love him.
‘I didn’t find it hard to forgive him because I loved him from day one. I knew he never meant what he did – it was all the pressure.
‘You go looking for who you are and who’s belonging to you and the doors are closed in your face. You go looking for help and the door was closed in his face.
‘It’s a basic right to know who you are. We know her identity but there were things he wanted to know. They were the little things going around in his head. He always talked to me. He was always a good child. He always spoke up and talked to me. He was 21 years of age. He never drank or smoked in front of any of us. He was very respectful.’
Jonathan struggled with his mental health before he killed his brothers. But Helen’s anger is not directed at him but at systemic and societal failures. ‘I’m angry. I’m raging at times, to tell you the truth. I would have my three children if things were done right. John went to a doctor two weeks before he died and he was left go home. We were only home from our holidays when it all happened. I’m ripping with temper knowing that the whole system wrecked our lives. He needed help, he needed information. There’s a load of children in trouble and there’s not enough help.
‘I want to see laws changed to allow foster kids in long-term care be allowed to stay with their foster families. Children should be given choices.
‘I hear terrible stories all the time about children in care – the system is a joke. I read about Daniel Patterson, who was adopted and then he was put in care at 14. I was disgusted with that story. He went from place to place until he was in a shelter and died from an overdose. He was left there for five days before anyone found him.
‘Someone should have been held accountable for that. His mother gave that little angel up hoping to God someone would rear him and look after him.’
She added that she was looking for Jonathan’s siblings and did not know if his birth mother knew he was dead.