Football’s Black Friday sees clubs hand over £115m to the leeches
BLACK FRIDAY, the day after Thanksgiving, is recognised in the USA as the launching pad for the Christmas shopping season. It signifies an eruption of frantic excess, and uncontrolled spending. This year, it was also the day on which the Premier League published details of the money which each club handed to football agents in the previous 12 months.
In 2012, the leeches pocketed £77,003,130 in fees, provoking a degree of outrage. Last year, their pickings had risen to £96,673,089. We suspected that the year ending September 30, 2014, would break the nine-figure barrier, and our suspicions were well founded.
These sharp-suited, selfseeking, utterly superfluous hustlers extracted a total of £115,261,136 from the game. And gave it precious little in return.
The headline figures are mind-numbing. Chelsea were top of the pile with a staggering £16,771,328 slice of their oligarch’s fortune. Liverpool paid £14,308,444 of John W Henry’s.
Manchester City’s sheikh, he of the bottomless purse, weighed in with £12,811,946. And hapless Tottenham discovered £10,983,011 in their patron’s back pocket.
Manchester United were a model of moderation (£7,975,556), while even West Ham’s £6,380,339 looks a shade less offensive too.
The 20 clubs have passed over £115.2m the game will never see again to pay for second homes, exotic holidays and opulent motor cars for the agents.
Now you might think it impossible to make this situation even worse, but in a helpful explanation attached to these details, the Premier League explains: ‘The amounts shown include payments made by clubs on behalf of players.’
So the clubs have paid the fees which the players owe to their agents. Effectively, they reward agents for negotiating against them!
When actors, authors or international sports people want to sell their services, they hire an agent to secure the best possible deal. In return, they pay that agent an agreed fee.
They do not expect their prospective employers to meet the bill, since they live in the real world. Yet football exists not only on a different planet, but in a different galaxy.
The clear winner in this was the indefatigable Jorge Mendes, whose portfolio includes Radamel Falcao and Angel di Maria to Manchester United, Diego Costa to Chelsea and Eliaquim Mangala to Manchester City.
Estimates of Mendes’ cut begin at £20m. No doubt he possesses a certain talent, but it is not one which causes the football public to drool. We are not discussing the equivalent of Cristiano Ronaldo (who happens to be another Mendes client).
No, Mendes is merely an agent, and he does a job which could be done equally well – and for a fraction of the fee – by an accountant and a lawyer.
Any other business might find that incredibly strange, even alarming. But football simply shrugs, chuckles and waits for the next burst of banknotes, which it will use to stuff the pockets of players, managers and agents.