Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘People will have needed a lift after watching EastEnders.’

Spokesman for the Taoiseach, after Enda Kenny’s Prime Time interview with Miriam O’Callaghan was switched to a later time to make way for a special episode of the soap opera ‘It was just the right side of bonkers.’

Ryan Tubridy, on last week’s chaotic Valentine’s episode of the

Late Late Show ‘Maeve Binchy placed a vodka and coke in front of me and said, “Drink that.” I don’t remember anything else. I woke up next day with a dragonfly tattoo on my back.’

Brendan O’Carroll, on the announcement that he will be grand marshal of Dublin’s St Patrick’s Day parade this year, recalling a wild St Patrick’s Day he spent in New York 20

years ago ‘If it was one of my sons and I, left in the jungle, I’d insist he ate me.’

Bear Grylls, the TV adventurer said he would not think twice

about eating flesh ‘I stole lots of the underwear. They were comfortable.’

Dakota Johnson, star of Fifty Shades Of Grey, on taking

souvenirs from the set

‘I am imitating Johnny Sexton.’

Michael Noonan, makes light of his black eye after an operation ‘Huge congratulations to the Irish cricket team. on their four point victory over the West Indies.’

Alan Kelly, Environment Minister, should have said ‘wickets’ in his

celebratory tweet ‘Mine looks like it has curdled. It looks like a cup of sick.’

Abbey Clancy, former Strictly Come Dancing winner, is not proud of her marble cake contribution to the

Great Comic Relief Bake-Off ‘My boyfriend said, “Well, if they weren’t looking at her that would be worse.”’

Stephanie Roche, on that picture of Messi and Ronaldo ogling her