The Dwyer ‘reality show’
As the letters continue, chillingly, Dwyer tries to get closer and openly flirts with her
1 LETTER: Dwyer’s comments about being excited to get the letter from the woman.
Dr Robi says: He is indicating how important she is to him. He says ‘of course I will phone you’ and that he will put her on the visitor’s list.
He’s again upping the game, how important she is to him. How excited he is by her and how special she is. Wouldn’t most women die to hear a man talk like that? Most men don’t talk like that so to hear a man talk like that is special. Some women get off on men behind bars because they’re macho, they’re the bad guys, bad boys, they’re very attentive, they give a lot of attention in a way most men don’t. They don’t have the time for it, it’s not the way men operate in the real world except maybe in the honeymoon period; they don’t have the time.
Again in the letter he is differentiating himself, he’s not the person who has been written about.
2 LETTER: Dwyer’s comment about extreme sex:
Dr Robi says: So this is all part of his end game. You have to remember with sociopaths I have worked with, they use their kind of sexual appeal to plug into a woman, that there is an end game, and all the while almost advocating for themselves.
I have noticed among sociopaths that have either been in prison or get out of prison, they’re always advocating for themselves. They’re innocent in some way, even if they do something wrong, you know, they were victimised. They were a victim of someone, a bad judge, other people, the ability to really to take ownership, plus he’s playing a game and that’s why he can be so flirty and engaging. It’s all a game to him. The manipulation is fine, it’s easy for him. He’s done this before.
He’s having fun – his mood does not appear to be depressed. He doesn’t seem depressed, he seems self-confident, self-assured, he has a mission, he’s going to prove his innocence, he’s got a good chance at it.
3 LETTER: Dwyer’s comment about been called Fifty Shades of Graham.
Dr Robi says: This is a man who is kind of a great star in his own rights. He likes the fame. He doesn’t like being in prison but he likes the notoriety about being talked about. He likes that, he definitely does.
4 LETTER: Dwyer’s comments about the trial toughening him up and not revealing his internal emotions, etc.
Dr Robi says: Again he describes himself as like this cool Buddhist type of guy. He’s on a mission, he has the support of family, he’s strong, he’s trying to create or construct an image of a very sexy superior kind of guy. I would even say setting up this very unconscious, subconscious, idea that maybe he’s in this position because people envy him and want to attack him because he’s good looking, he’s smart, all these fabulous things that doesn’t make him a murderer. He’s kind of setting it up because he’s not saying it but he’s implying that, it’s all floating around there.
I’d like to think that in the letter he’s creating an image of himself, an image of himself that most people don’t do unless they’re going back and forth on a dating site, trying to present themselves the way they want to be seen.
This is just to make him more prominent in her mind and he’s saying how important this is, who he is really as opposed to how he’s been portrayed. He’s saying ‘you’re important to me, your friendship is important to me, you lift my spirits, you matter.’
5 LETTER: Dwyer’s comment about having the opportunity of demonstrating he is a good person.
Dr Robi says: He’s looking forward to that, that’s exciting for him, like in part of a reality show. He’s a little bit of a fame junkie. He’s a star, he’s been characterised as a killer but he’s a famous star you know, he has musical ability, he’s thoughtful to everyone, he has thick skin so he’s a combination of a wise person who knows how to interact with people, he knows how to avoid conflict, he thinks ahead about what might happen someday, he’s always strategising. He’s creating an image like ‘I’m classy, I’m cool, I’m a star, I’m a perfect guy’.
6 LETTER: Dwyer’s use of Winston Churchill quotes:
Dr Robi says: That’s sociopathic mentality, just do it, keep going, you get to your end game. He’s also showing off how smart ‘I am’, quoting Winston Churchill.
7 LETTER: Dwyer’s comments about what bands he likes.
Dr Robi says: Again this is like what you say on a date or on a résumé, this is all part of the seduction.
I find it interesting what he underlines. He underlines adjectives. I think this is to underscore, or he is playing around with the imagery that is around because the stronger the image he can create of himself, the more real he can make himself in the woman’s mind.
8 LETTER: Dwyer’s comments about hoping a good drummer comes to the jail as a prisoner.
Dr Robi says: He’s saying he’s cool. He just killed a woman, but other than that he’s this cool guy.
9 LETTER: Dwyer’s comment about not judging people in prison and not taking the moral high ground.
Dr Robi says: He’s saying that he is a great guy and this experience is making him an even better guy, a better person.
10 LETTER: Dwyer’s comment about being as calm as a Hindu cow.
Dr Robi says: Cows are royalty in the Hindu tradition and he’s saying he’s sacred and holy too. He says he looks like a musician with his long hair – he loves his long hair and he now has permission to have long hair like a musician, like a famous guitarist.
11 LETTER: Dwyer signs off this letter Yours Graham X
Dr Robi says: I think he’s getting there, it’s new but he’s testing her out and you’re probably getting a hint of how he was on that S&M website. He’s done this before, it’s something he’s used to and he knows what he’s doing.
12 LETTER: Dwyer’s comment ‘Love to Sonny’, the woman’s dog. He asks her to wish him luck and he encloses a picture of himself and writes in Spanish the words ‘vamanos!’, which mean ‘let’s go’.
Dr Robi says: That’s a way to get into her life. ‘You’re in my life, I want to get into your life.’