Point by point, how the killer insinuates himself with student to win her trust
1 LETTER: Dwyer comments about getting letters from other people, but he didn’t write back.
Dr Robi says: He’s saying to this woman ‘you’re special, I got letters from people but I didn’t write to them but I’m writing to you’. He is setting her up as being more important and special than other people.
2 LETTER:
Dwyer’s comments on how many barristers and solicitors are involved in the case and he insinuates that they are asking him for his views.
Dr Robi says: Many sociopaths think they are the smartest guy in the room because they can manipulate. He probably feels he’s smarter than the lawyer he has, he’s smarter than the judge, he’s smarter than everybody and what’s really interesting, sociopaths don’t get as frustrated by hurdles the way the ordinary person does, the way every day people get frustrated, they can give into a hopelessness, their feelings can stop them from moving forward. With the sociopath, it’s not that they don’t experience feelings but they’re so focused on the end game – winning – that it keeps them going. They find another route, if this route doesn’t work let me find another route, another way. He’s finding another way, the case isn’t over, there’s wriggle room. He’s chosen this woman because he feels either she can be manipulated by him, or there’s some reason why he has
chosen her. He is maybe choosing many people, we don’t know. From the letter he wants her to think she’s the only one but we don’t know for certain.
3 LETTER: Dwyer’s comment: ‘So you are half English, half Spanish, it must be easy for you to get a tan.’
Dr Robi says: I think his intent is to keep her engaged, to have a sense that they have a special relationship. It’s not in one particular thing that he is saying but in the questions he asking about herself.
There are sexual undertones; I mean, I wouldn’t ask you that. Those are not normal, so you can see that the interest and the focus has sexual undertones in a very subtle way, but it’s there.
What he’s saying is a bit like a banter you would have with somebody you would meet on a dating website. You can certainly see where his ability to be verbal and socially engaging would be very productive.
4 LETTER: Dwyer’s comments about not being quite old enough to be the woman’s father.
Dr Robi says: I’m wondering if he feels there’s an appeal there and that he is saying ‘I could take care of you, I’m the mature one’. It’s really setting up a sadomasochistic [relationship] but in a very mild way. He’s suggesting, ‘I’m older, I know what’s better, I can tell you what to do’. It’s not actually saying that but all of these are very mild inferences. I guess you could call that grooming as part of the seduction process.
5 LETTER: Dwyer’s comments: ‘You’re 5’6’’ so I am taller than you (not 5’5” as reported).
Dr Robi says: He’s saying again that the press has misrepresented him, that he’s far better than he has been portrayed. He underlines certain words like ‘I AM TALLER’ ‘My ACTUAL HEIGHT’. That was a narcissistic wound to him.
6 LETTER: Dwyer comments that he looks like Jonathan Ross with his hair down and Steven Seagal when it is tied up.
Dr Robi says: He’s associating himself with wealthy, prominent, famous people – even though he may look this way now, when he gets out he’ll be in the same league as these people. He’s a star in his own mind. All this stuff is very flirty. He is saying what he is, what he’s not and he underlines it so that it’s clear.
7 LETTER: Dwyer’s comments: ‘I smile a lot, (called smiler in school), and I am left handed, I’m also vegetarian. I tried it, liked it, and losing weight each week’
Dr Robi says: He’s practically Mother Teresa, and in his mind has done no wrong.
LETTER: Dwyer’s comments about his guitar playing, liking a laugh, having wicked sense of humour.
8 Dr Robi says: He’s saying he’s not a monster, that he’s fine. You know he’s describing all the things that he believes are very appealing about himself. It’s to seduce, it’s to reel her in. He’s telling her she’s special, and here’s what I want you to know about me. I mean that’s what every day people do in intimate, romantic relationships.
9 LETTER: Dwyer’s comments: ‘By the way I’m not a vampire either.’
Dr Robi says: He’s trying to actually develop this intimate relationship and he’s trying to distinguish himself from the sadistic image that has been portrayed in the media. He’s hoping she’s saying, ‘he’s telling me what he really is, the media is wrong and I’m going to the source’.
10 LETTER: Dwyer’s comments about his innocence and that one day he’ll be free, his use of smiley faces and signing himself off as ‘Yours, Graham X’.