Madonna: I accept I have lost my son
Pop singer ‘utterly bereft’ after conceding defeat in bitter custody f ight ‘Native’ bodyguards and curfews: her last demands
IT IS the one day of the year when every mother should be able to count on her children’s company, or at least look forward to getting a card or a call. But for Madonna, Mother’s Day will be filled with the pain of knowing her son Rocco is never coming home.
For the Irish Mail on Sunday can reveal that the singer has conceded defeat to her ex-husband Guy Ritchie over the custody of their 15-year-old son. She has told friends she has ‘lost the battle’ after finally admitting her son does not want to live with her.
The saga began in December, when Rocco left his mother’s world tour to fly to Britain to stay with his film director father. Rocco then defied the superstar’s pleas – as well as an order from a New York court – to return to Madonna’s US home for Christmas, preferring instead to remain in Britain with Ritchie.
Now, having accepted she is fighting a losing battle, Madonna has told friends that she will let her son stay in Britain. The 57-year-old is said to be ‘utterly bereft’ and, as part of the peace deal, she is demanding a series of assurances that she will retain some parental influence over her only natural son. Last week, as a fresh legal bid was launched at the Family Division of London’s High Court, a judge urged the couple to settle their differences out of court.
One of the singer’s closest friends last night conceded: ‘The fact is Madonna has now accepted Rocco isn’t coming home and that his home is now with his dad. Rocco wants to be with his dad but she won’t give up being his mother.
‘She won’t stop fighting to try to make sure Rocco is kept safe and has what he needs. She can’t understand why it has come to this. Her world has been shattered.’
The temporary truce comes after weeks of stalemate negotiations between lawyers for Madonna, Ritchie and their son. A draft agreement with 24 bullet points was initially drawn up but sources say the couple cannot agree on at least seven of those issues.
The MoS can exclusively reveal the key factors at the heart of the tug-oflove, which will be hammered out as Madonna prepares to go to court yet again in New York later this month.
They include Madonna’s request for Ritchie to set aside time in the week when she and her other children can speak to Rocco, and she is seeking clarification on her right to have a say in his education.
She wants to be reassured that an adult will be told of Rocco’s whereabouts when he goes out to parties and a stipulation that Ritchie provides him with ‘native security’ – low-key security guards often hired by celebrities to follow their offspring at a discreet distance.
Madonna is also adamant that the legal tussle should be thrashed out in a US court, where parents retain greater controls over their children until they are 18, rather than in the UK where more freedoms are granted to 16-year-olds.
The source said: ‘It is unbelievable but so far Madonna does not know when she will be able to see her son again, let alone have any say in his future. The situation between her and Guy is toxic.’
The battle for Rocco began in December when the teenager left his mother’s world tour after a row over his mobile phone and flew to London to be with Ritchie.
When Madonna asked when her son would return, Ritchie failed to respond, prompting the star to resort to a Manhattan court where their custody arrangements were made after their divorce in 2008. The judge ordered that the teenager be returned home. And despite invoking the Hague Convention, which is used in child abduction cases, and subsequent appeals to the court, Ritchie’s own lawyers stone- walled any return, defending the teenager’s right to make his own decisions about where he lived.
The 47-year-old director – who was awarded a £50m divorce settlement – claimed his son needed ‘his space and freedom’. The increasingly bitter fall-out between the pair began with a cyber-competition over family Christmas snaps shared on Instagram, followed by Madonna’s on-tour meltdowns.
And while Ritchie’s camp claims the teenager hated going on tour with his mother, photos emerged of a scruffylooking Rocco smoking with his s skater friends in London.
Rocco has now enrolled at a priv vate school in London, although his mother has yet to be consulted over his subject choices. The s source said: ‘Madonna worries h her son will run wild. She was beside herself when she saw pictures of him in a skate park.’ A member of Madonna’s inner c circle added: ‘She completely ge gets that a 15-year-old boy wants to be with his dad. It might break her heart but she gets it. But she wants to know she can see her son. For the past eight years, there has never been a problem with Guy seeing Rocco but this situation is just not being resolved.’
‘Her world has been shattered by this’