Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘Fine Gael to sit Enda Kenny down shortly and tell him he’s going to be sent away to live on a farm.’

Waterford Whispers, satirical news website, on the day the new Dáil

convened ‘I could have proposed my brother, Deputy Michael Healy-Rae, for taoiseach but I would never try to make a laugh of this country.’

Danny Healy-Rae, in his maiden speech to the Dáil ‘The 32nd Dáil? More like the thirty seconds Dáil.’

A Leinster House wag, after the failure to form a government on

Thursday

‘You can ask me all the questions you like about water but I am not going to answer.’

Phil Hogan, EU commissioner and former environment minister, not exactly taking responsibility for the Irish Water debacle that he helped

to create ‘I felt inadequate. The last time I made pizza, I was 11.’ Geri Halliwell, on competing on

The Bake Off recently

‘I’m having difficulty spelling his name.’

Bernard O’Shea, Breakfast Republic presenter, whose son

Tadhg was born this week

‘Oh no, George. We are a rock’n’roll band and I don’t think it’s a good idea.’

Paul McCartney, responding to Beatles producer George Martin – who died last week aged 90 – when he suggested adding a

string quartet to Yesterday. ‘No bra and a cashmere jumper.’

Sienna Miller, actress, describes her

idea of heaven