SMOKES & DAGGERS
A mischievous mix of (mostly) news
SMOKES hears that some distress was occasioned at Cabinet last week when attempts to close the meeting early so our leaders could listen to Theresa May’s Brexit speech were almost scuppered by talkative Independent Alliance minister Finian McGrath. One source told us: ‘Enda and the rest were mad for road, twitching and coughing and shuffling papers, but Finian went on and on. They barely made it for the speech.’ Typical teacher. NO WHITE smoke has yet emerged from the Áras regarding whether Michael D will be running again. But he’s certainly happy to be seen out walking. The President, left, said he wasn’t going to run for a second term during the 2011 campaign. But then why was he out walking on the Salthill Prom? You see, in Galway, if you want to be seen by or meet the great and the good, you walk the Prom. It is a tactic used by many an aspiring politician in local and national politics down there. Could he be seeking to be a continuing breath of fresh air in the Park… or was he just out enjoying some? THE unexpected effects of Brexit continue. Channel 4’s popular show Wife Swap is returning for a Brexit special in which a Leave family and a Remain family swap matriarchs, which could make for some cracking TV. It’s a dangerous game, though. Wasn’t it reality TV that lumbered us with Trump? WE COULDN’T help but laugh at the following message on the Garda Traffic Corp’s Twitter account: ‘Car parked illegally, driver was buying chips. On inspection car had no insurance/NCT/tax. Car seized. You takeaway chips, we takeaway car.’ Bravo. The best chips-related cop reference since Ponch, pictured, was patrolling the California highways. HEADLINE of the week goes to the Leinster Leader’s story about a local politician objecting to a pole being put up on a local bridge: ‘Councillor fears dangerous erection.’ THERE was an anti-Trump protest outside the US embassy in London the other day featuring the placard: ‘Small hands build no walls.’ THE North may be in crisis, but fear not, Brendan Howlin and Labour are riding to the rescue. Mr Howlin, left, has pledged his party’s support on the doorsteps to Labour’s sister party, the SDLP. One question remains: will the seven-strong Labour parliamentary party be taking two taxis or one large wheelchair-accessible taxi north of the border? MICHAEL FLATLEY was one of the few real stars to take part in the Trump inauguration festivities at one of the balls on Friday. He didn’t dance himself but introduced his Lord Of The Dance troupe. Flatley is too badly injured for dancing these days. Indeed, he records in his memoir that he was taking so much pain medication at one stage that at the end of a show in Tasmania he mistakenly shouted out: ‘We love you, Temazepam!’