CARS
Skoda’s latest Superb is just that
Why do young siblings squabble? Is it because we force them together from the moment of birth onwards? It’s simply not fair and never more evident than in a car. Kids in the back, grown-ups in the front, no matter what. The little ones have zero choice – like it or lump it (or more likely, lump each other when the grown-ups aren’t looking).
‘But that’s because you and I want to be together,’ said an un-named source, who also happens to be my wife. But that’s not 100% true either. I think a more fruitful approach would be a permanent in-car round-robin, like human crop rotation. By the time we each get to sit next to each other again, who knows, we might even be showing signs of pining.
Let’s do whatever we can this year to promote in-car family harmony as the brighter, more optimistic weekends kick in and many of us contemplate a raft of life-enhancing road trips.
I cannot wait. After last year’s inaugural family surfing holiday in Cornwall we’ve already booked a week in a house for the sequel.
Of course, you get a lot more for your pound in Cornwall, Wales, and Scotland than in Rome, Athens or Nice nowadays.
Actually, you don’t, but at least it will feel far less painful than having to stomach ‘sterling versus the world’ every time you order another round of gulaschsuppe. Something we did a lot of last week, skiing in Austria with the ankle-biters.
And guess what? I don’t hate skiing any more. In fact, I almost like it. Enough at least to have invested in my own pair of ski boots. We’ve already re-booked the same hotel for next year. Family owned and run throughout five generations and counting, it was just so damn good, the best small hotel I have ever stayed in. My apologies, but the regulars made me promise not to reveal the name.
The only downer is the flights for 2018: there are none available yet, and when they are released it’ll be a case of get-what-you-can-whileyou-can-or-risk-disappointment. ‘You could always drive,’ said my mate, the same guy who recommended the hotel from heaven. A suggestion we have by no means ruled out. In which case, we could do a lot worse than go in this week’s test car, the Skoda Superb Sportline Hatch. For starters, as its name suggests, it does actually have a hatch – a ski hatch, of all things, in the middle of the rear seats. It also has loads of space, loads of poke and has already won loads of awards. After driving it, I can fully understand why.
Everything on this car is absolutely top notch. There’s keyless entry, heated wing mirrors and interior LED lighting featuring a choice of no less than TEN ambient colour options. It’s got Apple CarPlay and Android Auto for seamlessly connecting your phone. Then there’s the tinted glass, the Audi sculpting (they have the same mom and pop nowadays), the sportier front grille, the meaner 19in black alloy wheels and my favourite design feature, the Alcantara sports seats in black with silver diamond stitching – especially natty and entirely unexpected. And listen up y’all, it also boasts the best three-spoke leather multi-function steering wheel, complete with the most ergonomic gear paddles this side of the pit wall. How come Skoda has got so much of this car so right?
And then there’s the space, man. The boot – magically opened with a sweep of your foot underneath the rear bumper – is nothing short of massive, but just in case, there’s under-boot floor storage too, both accessed via the tailgate (which can be set to a maximum opening height so it’s never out of reach).
THE BOOT OPENS WITH A SWEEP OF YOUR FOOT
If you want even more room, there’s the cavernous estate version, with a 2,000-litre cargo hold.
When it comes to human beings, there’s yet more acres of head and leg room, with yet another pragmatic twist on top. The wonderfully large rear doors open up to almost 90 degrees, facilitating gloriously bruisefree entry and exit for even the most fragile of souls.
Not quite in love yet? You need to see a doctor.
In the meantime, the function menu has stacks of driver aids and info, including one screen you would normally expect to see in a Nissan GT-R – boost pressure, g-force, oil temp, water temp, horsepower. Swipe to one side and what’s this? A lap timer? On a Skoda family hatchback? Well, why not when 100kph is available in a relatively staggering 5.8 seconds, via a fully auto six-speed DSG gearbox transmitted through the Superb’s 4X4 drive system? How good is this car? Select Sport from four driver’s modes and it gets better still. Have heaps of fun with those perfectly positioned paddles or leave it in auto, stick the boot in and see just how much the car likes to play with fire in that red zone before changing up.
All-round performance is blistering. The car feels planted, comfortable and exciting to the extent I couldn’t get my head round the whole package and how much confidence it inspired.
I can only conclude this car to beat all cars has been designed by the coolest Captain Sensible in the whole of motor manufacturing. I have no idea who he or she is, but I would love to shake them firmly by the hand and congratulate them on a job extremely well done at an almost unbelievably attractive price. Superb. Truly.
Psst... The name of the hotel is Raffl’s St Antoner Hof in St Anton am Arlberg but you didn’t hear it from me...