Raised in America, the Irish woman desperate to uncover her ‘erased’ past Illegally adopted and shipped off to the US. Help me find my mother
WHEN Paula Douglas wakes up next month on the morning of her 58th birthday her first thoughts will be about her mother.
Like every birthday that has gone before, she will wonder whether life has been kind to the woman who gave birth to her.
Most people never give a second thought to the actual day they were born but in Paula’s case things are not quite so simple.
For she is one of the many, but unknown number of children, who were illegally adopted in Ireland.
There were growing demands this weekend that the terms of reference for the Commission of Investigation into Mother and Baby Homes – which has already established that babies were buried in a former septic tank on the grounds of St Mary’s Mother and Baby Home, run by the Bon Secours order of nuns – be extended to include illegal adoptions.
It has emerged that it was commonplace for children born to single mothers to be registered as the natural children of their adoptive parents. And as a result, the child’s birth mother was erased from history with the stroke of a pen rendering them untraceable and forever unknown.
The only clue Paula has about finding her birth mother is that she was born a full week after her official date of birth. It is this solitary piece of information that she is hoping against hope will finally reunite her with the mother she has never known.
‘I will be 58 next month and I’ve always known that I was adopted, my parents always told me that,’ said Paula, who has lived in America since emigrating there with her parents when she was an infant.
‘I want my birth mother to know that I have always thought about her on my birthday and I hope that she ended up having a good life.
‘My birth cert says that I was born on April 2, 1959 but my parents always told me that my real birthday was April 9 and I have always celebrated my birthday on the ninth. If I didn’t have this one piece of information I would have nothing to go on and I am hoping that someone reading this will remember April 9, 1959.
‘Hopefully, my mother is still alive and the worst case is, maybe this will help me to find out more about her. I am travelling to Ireland at the end of May for a wedding and I am hoping that this may prompt somebody’s memory.’
Paula was just two months old when she emigrated to America with her adoptive parents Ron and Lil Holmes in June 1959. Aged 31 and 27, the couple were married three years by then and, as well as their infant daughter, they were joined on their journey to start a new life in America by two little boys. Paula explained: ‘Back then you had to be sponsored by a relative to emigrate to the US and you also had to have a medical and a test to show that you never had TB.
‘My parents told me that the difference in the dates between the date on my birth cert and my real birthday was to do with the paperwork to emigrate. By changing my date of birth by a week it bought my mother more time as it would be obvious to a doctor that she had not recently given birth. My mother told me that a nun told the doctor that the baby was going to America and the paperwork was sorted.
‘My parents always told me that their flight was paid for by the nuns and they brought two boys, who were walking, with them and these two boys went to two families in New York.
‘My mother said that when we arrived in New York they clung to her so much that my dad had to take them over to their adoptive families.
‘All my mother would say is that I was born in a nursing home. I believe they didn’t know the person who gave birth to me. I didn’t know what was going on in Ireland until the recent revelations and now I know why my parents were so secretive about my adoption.
‘They registered me as if I was their natural child and that was illegal. I don’t blame them. They were told by the nuns and the church that this was okay.
‘My aunt even said one time she went back to Ireland and she brought a baby over to the US. She didn’t have enough money to pay her fare. She spoke to a priest and he said, “Sure you could bring a baby back with you.”
‘My parents were total Irish Catholic people – not lawbreakers. My parents would not have known how to do something like this, someone would have directed them what to do. I don’t blame them. They wanted a baby. I was there and it all worked out for them. They were desperate and the nuns and the church were saying this is okay.’
For many years Paula did not delve into her past. But little by little she has gleaned tiny fragments of information from relatives. A cousin, who was also adopted, told her that both of their adoptions were arranged by the St Patrick’s Guild Adoption Society which was run by the Sisters of Charity order. It is one of the organisations now being probed by the Commission of Investigation.
Paula added: ‘I contacted the guild but I was told that they did not have any records on me. I have heard about the commission but people like me who were illegally adopted are like a pile of separate people. We were almost treated like commodities.
‘When I contacted St Patrick’s guild, a nun said, “You had a good life, you had a good family.”
‘But that’s not for them to say and to decide, they made the decision for me and it wasn’t their decision to do things like this.’
‘I hope that she ended up having a good life’ ‘I don’t blame them. They wanted a baby’