Fashion’s frightful Frill seekers!
Is that a stick of candyfloss? No, it’s the hideous trend coming to the high street inspired by...
IT’s like an explosion in a candy-floss factory. A tsunami of rippling waves, frills, flounces and fins so sugary, I’ve got toothache. so ultra-feminine, you’d be forgiven for thinking scarlett O’Hara was back among us.
It’s a difficult look to pull off – which is why, although the trend for frills started on the london catwalk for summer 2016, it has taken a whole year for it to trickle on to the backs of celebrities, mainly due to the fact the two hottest labels du jour have embraced the trend. In Milan, Gucci sent out a collection made entirely of the sort of concertina frills you find around Boursin cheese. While in Paris, Isabel Marant put the world’s hottest model, Gigi Hadid, in a lurex top with voluminous bell sleeves, and the front row of movers, shakers and stylists sat up and thought: I too want to resemble something you might find covering the lavatory roll in the smallest room.
It’s a trend the high street has bought into, most notably at Topshop and Urban Outfitters (it has a ruffle gingham skirt for about €70), but I doubt it will last long. Great swathes of fabric and complicated seams are expensive, which is why the sixties shift stuck around for so long. And who on earth needs concertinas of fabric on their hips?
The look is all a bit laura Ashley, too: florals, tiered maxi skirts and pie-crust collars. Modern women, who’ve spent the past 20 years in body-con dresses and toothpick jeans, are unused to feeling so much fabric around their bodies. It’s a worrying trend that negates 40 years of feminism, putting powerful women in something Grayson Perry might wear.
I would normally offer advice at this point, along the lines of: ‘Want to wear frills? Keep the hair sleek, and expose some flesh somewhere, so people don’t rummage around for the Andrex.’
Instead, I’m typing just one word. Don’t.
Anaïs GALLAGHER
This Mulberry gown has fins, just like a conga eel. The daughter of Oasis star Noel – here at last month’s London Fashion Week – is trying to pull off a look that works only with Dr Martens and a scowl.
LILY-ROSE DEPP
Karl Lagerfeld sent model LilyRose down the Chanel runway in this confection in January. It’s so sweet and girly, I was forced to have root-canal surgery. I can only hope he was being ironic. The puffball sleeves are so 1980s...
RITA ORA
The singer makes anything look sexy: the key is that this Giambattista Valli mullet dress, chosen for the LA premiere of Fifty Shades Darker, shows off her legs... as well as her air of steely confidence.
JESSICA ALBA
We put up with pyjama dressing – now we’re meant to go to Tesco in a negligee! The Barely Famous star’s Ralph & Russo gown, for Vanity Fair’s Oscars party last month, is too Doris Day.
MICHELLE DOCKERY
The Downton star chose a flowing top for a work lunch earlier this month and it’s ghastly – like something an 80-year-old might wear to a funeral. Bring back her corsets!
NICOLE KIDMAN
The Lion actress looks ready for bed in this too Victorian Giambattista Valli outfit for the Golden Camera Awards earlier this month. Her head – all soignée and sleek – doesn’t match the dress.
GIGI HADID
This look – worn by the supermodel on the Isabel Marant catwalk last week – is all 1980s Lurex and voluminous sleeves. If you invite the 21-year-old over, be sure to put away any valuable ornaments.
ALEXA CHUNG
I can’t believe my eyes. The queen of tomboy dressing went all girly in Erdem at a London fashion event last month. At least she keeps it edgy – there are no flowers, and it’s in combat green.
LEONA LEWIS
Did the Bleeding Love singer pick some sort of straitjacket for MTV’s Staying Alive Foundation charity do last week? A flamenco shirt like this can work but only if paired with some sharp tailoring.
DAKOTA JOHNSON
Well, it’s nice to see the actress with clothes on, but this pink confection by Gucci, for the Madrid premiere of Fifty Shades Darker last month, is totally ridiculous, like Spanish fancy dress.
ABBEY CLANCY
It’s confusing, the Strictly winner’s dress, seen on her at Thursday’s launch party of Britain’s Next Top Model. It wants to be demure and pie-crust, but it’s also black and very revealing. Not quite what Laura Ashley had in mind…
SIENNA MILLER
The actress’s look – for the LA premiere of her new film Live By Night in January – reminds me of the Leaning Tower of Pisa… and not in a good way. This Gucci gown has a nasty cape, too.
ER, HAVEN’T WE SEEN THAT LOOK ON GRANNIES’ LOO ROLL COVERS, LILY-ROSE?