SMOKES & DAGGERS

A mischievous mix of (mostly) news

THE lads at the Garda Traffic twitter are at it again. They are posting Frequently Asked Questions on the new drug-driving crackdown, one of which is: ‘Q– I smoke cannabis regularly, how do I know when I am allowed to drive after taking it?’ And the answer starts: ‘It is recommended to wait 24 hours...’ Not what you’d expect, eh. God be with the days of Garda Patrol, is all Smokes will say.

THIS week, Regina Doherty, pictured, told the Dáil it would next sit for ‘pre-election statements’, at 10.30am on Thursday. A few seconds – and three cardiac arrests and two catatonic states – later, we realised she meant ‘pre-EU council statements’. Back to sleep, folks.

SMOKES hears of an impressive soirée in the exclusive surrounds of Fire restaurant, where 120 fans of FG TD Kate O’Connell forked out €150 a head to hear Greencore CEO Patrick Coveney (Simon’s clever brother) musing on life. One wonders how this will work for the brother’s leadership ambitions, and, more interestingly, what Kate’s constituency colleague – Leo supporter Eoghan Murphy – makes of it all.

AS the yoke of dry Good Friday was being overthrown in the Seanad, Smokes noted the high number of pub lobbyists in attendance. In particular, the new-politics style union of ex-FF Senator Geraldine Feeney and ex-FG Senator Imelda Henry. So is the old barb true? Old senators never die; they just come back as consultants.

GIVEN the importance ministers say they ascribe to Brexit, Smoke notes the attendance for the debate on the upcoming European Council meeting. When the Taoiseach stood up to deliver his views, outside of Dara ‘the boy-blunder’ Murphy, the Dear Leader was in a state of splendid isolation, support wise. It is unlikely his mood improved when Joan Burton, pictured, said: ‘You are like Michael Collins, they will be sharpening the knives and axes whilst you’re away.’ Joan would know all about that, wouldn’t she Eamon?