Has Mazda pulledoff the CX-Y look?

GOOD VALUE IN THE MAIN… BUT DROP THE ZEN WORDS!

I’m always up for giving our more senior members of society a good listening-to. ‘Are you him, then?’ asked a silver-haired sleuth last week as I jogged, while number-one son scooted up to the village shop.

‘I’m afraid I am,’ I replied, holding my breath as to which way the conversation might go next.

‘My name’s Arthur, nice to meet you. Did you ever meet the Queen Mother?’ ‘No, I can’t say I did.’ ‘Well, I was her chauffeur for 26 years.’

Not only that but he doubled as the caretaker at the royal chapel where the Queen goes most Sundays. He also happens to be the proudest BMW owner I have ever met.

‘Would you like to see my car?’ he asked. A beauty I’d actually already spotted and which Noah and I had already discussed – a stunning, absolutely immaculate 1987 BMW 730i in white.

‘Bought it in 2008 for £2,000. It’s done 230,000 miles, never missed a beat, and never had an oil change.’

So there you go, ladies and gentlemen. I know I bang on about what amazing used-car value there is out there but seriously, it doesn’t get any better than that. Just 55p a day to own one of the greatest family limos of the past half-century. Plus, it’s going up in value – Arthur recently turned down £7k for it. Good for him, not that he was remotely tempted.

‘What could I get instead nowadays for that kind of money?’

Sadly, not much and only about a quarter of this week’s review car. Is it a Lexus? Is it an Infiniti? Is it a Volvo? No, it’s a Mazda! And that’s only from the side. From the front it could be screaming anything from Maserati Levante to a Dyson V8 vacuum cleaner – cordless and twice the suction!

Mazda terms its ‘elegant and spirited’ styling as Kodo, which, when Googled, comes up as a form of Japanese living art. Apparently driving the new Mazda ‘feels like a natural extension of your being’ much like the unity between a horse and rider ( jinba ittai)! Mazda’s approach to the process starts with clay models, something it says reflects the ‘physicality of human hands and our cars’.

It also states that its ‘outstanding paint quality makes Kodo design come alive, amplifying the beauty of every line while adopting an exclusive approach to advanced paint technology – takuminuri balances depth and glossiness.’

Really? Total guff. Looks like dodgy orange peel to me.

But don’t panic. I actually quite liked this car. It represents a considerable amount of class, comfort and capability at a decent price. It’s also substantially roomy for humans and baggage alike. The auto-electric tailgate leads to a more-than-generous cargo hold. The rear seatbacks can be individually reclined – yes! And with all three folded forwards, generous becomes chasm-like. Full marks for all that.

Right, back to the slightly more cumbersome, unfortunate issue of splaying arms and legs while attempting to access the back seats. This is not so good. It’s a little narrow for the old torso to have to twist into – be prepared for the odd bruised hamstring if your core strength is a bit lacking. All to do with annoyingly protruding rear wheel arches. Once safely in, however, there is tons of head – and leg – room and the contrasting firm, light leather seats are extremely comfy and supportive. There are also cup holders, a USB, 12-volt charge point in the pull-down arm rest and directional a/c vents.

Up front is similarly welcoming and accommodating, except this time the seats are heated as well as stylish and obviously there’s a lot more going on generally. I liked the design because it’s Mazda having a go, which I admire. The car comes in at under €30k before add ons but still has a real sense of aspirational pride and occasion about it.

The one thing some people may find conspicuous by its absence, however, is a touch control screen. Then again, I know many people who are completely over touch screens. They find them a gimmick too far, too inexact and too fiddly. In which case they’ll love the click-click-click of Mazda’s quartet of analogue dials.

Start up and drive then. Nearly good but not quite. The thing is,

there’s a four-cylinder, 2.0-litre petrol engine underneath the bonnet, the prospect of which still excites some of us. Alas, after the first five minutes, I had to check the spec sheet for the power output. Uh-oh, there you go, 165hp of normally aspirated oomph equals relatively no oomph at all. Such a shame. Cos once she gets twothirds into the rev range, she’s so much more akin to how you want her to be. Cruising on the motorway, for example, is a far more rewarding experience than nipping about town.

Brakes and handling? Slightly alarming at times. The brakes are undoubtedly competent; it’s just that on more than one occasion I had cause to doubt their existence. Momentarily, it seemed like whatever was supposed to be under my right foot had done a runner. At which point I found myself stamping on the pedal while experiencing mild to severe heart palpitations.

When it comes to handling, there is minimal roll but I suppose that’s because there is such a dearth of performance and excitement. And perhaps it’s this same lack of ambition that makes the car feel more comfortable than it otherwise might deserve to.

Taking all of the above – the good, the bad and the ugly – into consideration, this SUV is good value. But were Mazda to install a bit more excitement and sexiness up front, we may well be shouting ‘bargain!’

Oh, and either lose the orangepeel paint or at least stop using fancy zen words to pretend it’s meaningfully artistic. Take a leaf out of Arthur’s book: tell it like it is or don’t bother.