What’s a no-no on the Camino?
Yes, the irritants are multifold… but Mark Barry just can’t stay off the pilgrim trail
It starts loud but doesn’t stop there. If you don’t beat the first Olympicstandard snorer in your dorm to sleep, you are almost certainly doomed for the night. And they won’t be alone. Before long, it will sound like a conversation – one droning air horn responding to another, then another. Welcome to the side of Spain’s Camino Way the gushing testimonials don’t tell you about. The pilgrim routes to Santiago de Compostela in Galicia have exploded in popularity in recent years, thanks mainly to positive word of mouth and the 2010 film The Way starring Martin Sheen.
But while the Camino is indeed an incredible, even life-changing, experience it does have its down sides:
1
SNORING If you stay in pilgrim hostels, you will find yourself in dorms of up to 50 or so bunks. And with those odds, you are sure to encounter at least a few prodigious snorers, many with their own style. My favourite performance dates back to 2012, in a large dorm in Pamplona, adjacent to a snorer of rare parallel, who reminded me of a drowning cat wrestling an electric chainsaw. 2
SELF-OBSESSION Amid the genuine and interesting people will be a small subset that is utterly self-obsessed – those who get so wrapped up in the idea of ‘my Camino’ that they forget everyone else is walking it, too. They effectively reduce others to mere satellites revolving around them as they undertake their epic journey of selfdiscovery… but, alas, not self-awareness. 3 SLEEPING AS EXTREME
SPORT Camino life is much easier on the bottom bunk. From there, tip-toeing to the toilet at 3am is far less daunting and you can get out in the morning with minimum fuss. On the top bunk everything is more complicated, even hazardous. In many hostels, top bunks have no guard-rail. Many’s the night I was distracted from the snoring symphony by the thud of someone rolling off a top bunk. 4 THE (VERY) EARLY RISERS I used to find early risers particularly reprehensible – until I became one of them. However, some take it to extremes, making a break for it as early as 4am, rustling plastic bags, shining torches, zipping and unzipping bags and whispering loudly to each other. They tick all the boxes that facilitate a murderous rage – if only you were brave enough to escape your top bunk. 5 OVER-CROWDING
It’s hard to be critical as we’re all part of the overcrowding problem but it can still detract from the experience. Something a Canadian pilgrim said to me summed it up perfectly: ‘I’ve met so many wonderful and interesting people; it’s just a shame there has to be so many of them.’ 6 RESERVATION CULTURE Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong about calling ahead and reserving a bunk. I, ahem, have started doing it myself and it does remove the anxiety of the bunk race. However, it’s not unusual to arrive at a dorm mid-afternoon to find beds with reserved signs, leaving only the
precarious upper bunks free. The real irritation comes when people who reserve bunks change plans but don’t cancel their booking. It can be galling to abseil from a top bunk at 6am only to find the bunk underneath lay empty all night. 7 TOILETS/SHOWERS
Hostels on the more bohemian end of the spectrum tend to be delightfully ramshackle, attracting raggle-taggle, guitarwielding troubadours, hippies and hipsters. However, they often come up short on toilet and shower facilities. I have had to forego a shower on occasion
as the facilities weren’t working – and once braved an outhouse that played host to a hole in the ground.
VERDICT... So while the Camino is not all fine wine, cold beer and sparkling conversation, it is enormously enjoyable. Why else would this pilgrim answer its siren call for the past SIX summers? And as the selective amnesia sets in again no doubt I’ll be packing my backpack, sandals and earplugs for another crack at the Camino.