Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘You’ll never beat the Irish!’ Conor McGregor, directly after he was soundly beaten by Floyd Mayweather ‘I looked like the most patriotic flyer ever. I sat on the plane singing Amhrán na bhFiann for 11 hours.’ Imelda May, on her preparations to sing the anthem at the McGregor May weather fight, for which she was only hired at the last minute ‘Close your eyes. Open a telephone directory. Point at the page. Open your eyes. That’s the name of a person who could do better than this.’

JK Rowling, on Donald Trump ‘Brexit is going to be a disaster for the UK economy, and she needs to be over there negotiating, not swanning around Japan drinking tea and sake.’

Michael O’Leary, Ryanair boss, attacking prime minister Theresa

May who is on a visit to Japan ‘He doesn’t like sex scenes. I live for sex scenes!’ Jane Fonda, on Robert Redford, with whom she is starring in a new movie ‘He kept admiring my boobs in my clingy top and asking what size they were, saying “Are they real?”’ Laura Simpson, the 29-year-old brunette who was in the car with Wayne Rooney when he was arrested for drink-driving, on how they met at a nightclub ‘Surgeons are busy enough. Let them do proper jobs.’ Mary Berry, has no desire to undergo plastic surgery