I know the perfect man to knock the gardaí into shape

There is much speculation that a civilian may be considered for the open post of Garda commissioner.

In my opinion there can only be one man for the job – Michael O’Leary! Can you imagine the transformation that he would lead? He would rejoice in the opportunity.

O’Leary would charge drivers to blow into the bag and charge double for a second bag. Gardaí directing traffic would also be given the new Garda lottery ticket to sell to passing motorists. What about the advertising opportunities on patrol cars?

Using his Ryanair experience, he would charge calls to the gardaí at a premium rate and encourage all contact to be online.

He would end Garda allowances and, instead of getting a uniform allowance, the gardaí would have to lease their uniform from him.

Instead of pay rises, O’Leary would reward good performance with a guarantee of an appearance on the annual Garda calendar. Non-performing Garda stations would be turned in to stables for his pedigree horses.

Our Michael has a proven track record. What a fine civilian candidate he would make.

Xavier McCullough, Limerick.