SMOKES & DAGGERS

A mischievous mix of (mostly) news

AS A Labour Party press conference on the week’s events was taking place on the plinth at Leinster House, a boisterous hen party singing along to Mambo No.5 drowned out Brendan Howlin. The Labour leader later tweeted that he had been wondering how the song had got into his head. IT’S been a tough few days for everybody in politics. Minister John Paul Phelan was obviously feeling the strain. He had an early start for a jobs announcement in Kilkenny on Friday and somehow managed to turn up in odd shoes. They weren’t even a bit similar: one was a black lace-up, the other a brown slip-on. He tweeted a picture of the faux pas, blaming it on having to leave home in the dark. A DOG warden found herself a little out of her depth this week after she was sent to deal with four large dolphins that had been stranded on a beach. Mayo County Council received a call about the marooned mammals on Tuesday, but whoever took the call misheard what was said and dispatched unfortunate dog warden Laura Mulligan to sort things out. She was faced with three 400lb fully grown dolphins, a calf, and another adult dolphin that was already dead. Luckily Laura was friends with a local wildlife worker, Sorcha Kennedy, and immediately contacted her and with the help of coast guard member Dave McNamara, the group physically carried the dolphins back into the sea. GED NASH has grown a beard since he lost his Dáil seat in the last general election. But with a fresh election potentially just around the corner, it would be a shame for all those spare election posters to go to waste. Hence this snap he released of himself drawing a beard onto a cleanshaven poster picture and explaining: ‘I decided to put my reduce, reuse and recycle principles into action.’