Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘Seán Doherty. Ray Burke. Pádraig Flynn. Dermot Ahern. Alan Shatter. Frances Fitzgerald. It’s a job that seems to attract the trouble crowd. Scrap the office.’ Paul Howard, writer, on scandal-hit

justice ministers

‘I don’t believe the decapitation of the Tánaiste on trumped-up charges is fair. Let’s all calm down a bit.’ Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, using hysterical language as he calls for calm

‘I live in a small mews house that is all bookshelves and fire. It is like a little log cabin. It smells of smoke and leaves.’

Ryan Tubridy, on his home

‘F*** everyone get out of Selfridges now, gun shots!!’ Olly Murs, singer, tweeting a completely false alarm from inside Selfridges on Oxford Street in London that helped cause a terrorism panic on Friday

‘I’m glad it’s going slowly – you don’t deserve a bullet.’ Uma Thurman, actress, on enjoying the continuing humiliation of Harvey Weinstein

‘We fought the lion and won.’ Lovemore Matuke, Zimbabwean politician, after Robert Mugabe bowed to pressure and stood down as the country’s president.

‘Time Magazine called to say that I was PROBABLY going to be named “Man (Person) of the Year,” like last year but I would have to agree to an interview and a photo shoot. I said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!’ President Donald Trump, on Twitter revealing his remarkably thin skin

‘Life isn’t worth living without pie and a beer.’ Amanda Holden, actress and talent show judge