SMOKES & DAGGERS

Inside the corridors of power...

SMOKES noticed that an advert from the State Examinations Commission seeking applications by the closing date of Friday, 21st of December, 2017. This Friday is in fact the 22nd of December. Perhaps they’ll get marks for attempting the question? ETERNALLY politically correct Labour Senator Aodhán Ó Ríordáin suffered an unusually swift reversal of fortune after a bombastic declaration of congratulations from the Seanad to ‘the people of the great state of Alabama … they have managed to defeat one racist and homophobic sex offender and, hopefully, the other racist, homophobic sex offender in the White House will soon have a similar fate’.

Unfortunately, since neither Donald Trump, pictured, nor Roy Moore, the defeated Republican candidate have been arraigned, let alone convicted, on such charges Mr Ó Ríordáin had to engage in a swift reverse ferret after being chided by Senator James Reilly. Tut, tut, Senator, you must be careful you’re not spreading fake news. CHRISTMAS party season is in full swing, turning some quarters of this land of saints and scholars into drink marathon territory. But fear not, according to a fascinating post we read this week on the Anglandicus blog, it seems that in the Ireland of medieval times – when this island was a beacon of learning and light for civilisation – we still knew how to party.

The proof is in the margins of a 9thcentury copy of a Latin Grammar book, where a note in Ogham script records the Irish word, Latheirt. The translation provided by Anglandicus is: Ale [Lait] + Killed [ort}. or Killed by Ale. Or, as it’s known these days, hungover. So much for living like a monk! A WATER fountain at the USA Environmental Protection Agency backed up this week and started spewing sewage into the hallway. Still more edifying than what is happening in the White House, of course. AN Taoiseach’s performance on Brexit – if little else – continues to impress. Asked about the language in the agreement on the Irish border at the EU summit this week, he very helpfully explained what the English words meant to him, an Irishman. ‘Our view is [the Joint Report] is very strong language. Maintain means, ‘keep as it is’ of course. Full means ‘full’, not ‘partial’ and alignment means ‘keep in line’.’ Another Irishman having to teach the English how to use their own language. FAIR play to the garda spotted writing out a drink driving summons with a Guinness branded pen on RTÉ Investigates this week.