SMOKES & DAGGERS

A mischievous mix of (mostly) news

WE KNOW they are different in south Dublin, yet this did not prepare us for a query from Richard Boyd Barrett – that great enemy of capitalism – as to what our Minister for Foreign Affairs could do for a distressed citizen who had lost a valuable item of property. Minister Simon Coveney swiftly informed this champion of the working man, pictured, that the Government could not assist in recovering his constituent’s ‘confiscated yacht’.

IRISH soccer website Extratime.ie told us this week that the fixture list for the ‘2018 SSE Atrocity League of Ireland’ season was being released. Domestic football can’t be that bad, can it?

YOU can only imagine our distress at the cruel fate of the lackeys of the Independent Alliance. Any notions our heroes fostered of a Christmas knees-up disappeared when not a single illustrious deputy put their hands in their pockets.

One observed with some disgust: ‘Tiny

Tim would have been lucky to get roadkill let alone a goose with this lot.’

A RECENT dialogue between Defence Minister Paul Kehoe and Finian McGrath on the sensitive issue of Ireland joining Pesco (for closer EU cooperation on defence and security) took a bizarre turn in the corridor afterwards where Kehoe said he had a dog called Pesco and a cat called Nato. Happily, calm was restored once McGrath realised the minister was joking.