Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘It feels just like Christmas. I’ve been eating the same food for three days and I hate my children.’ Ross O’Carroll Kelly, tweeting about the weather ‘Top of the range bread. Can’t find anywhere in Ireland. You won’t get a better offer. Buy now or starve in this weather!’ Joke advert that appeared on the DoneDeal website on Tuesday, offering a loaf of Pat the Baker bread for €1,500 as shoppers were panic-buying ‘Shivering behind a single electric bar will be penny wise and pound foolish.’ Jim Daly, Minister for the Elderly, who went on to cause a headache for the Government by urging pensioners to leave the heat on 24 hours a day during the cold snap as the Government could pick up the tab ‘Was that real dinosaur poop in your hand?’ Laura Dern, Jurassic Park star, reveals the question she is asked most often by fans ‘I really believe I’d run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon.’ President Donald Trump, claiming he would have taken on the Florida school shooter had he been there ‘Trump’s plan for the environment is to arm trees with pollution.’ Conan O’Brien, US comedian and talkshow host, responding to the President’s plan to arm schoolteachers ‘It’s time for the snip – you can’t be a father at that age. Those poor children.’ Keith Richards, castigates his Rolling Stones band-mate Mick Jagger for becoming a father at the age of 73 ‘The book will cover some of the most exciting times in Michelle Obama’s life, like that time she got $65m to write a memoir.’ James Corden, comedian, on the news that the former US first lady will be publishing her memoirs in November