Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘This marriage will change the world.’ Unnamed young woman, getting carried away as she watched the royal wedding service in Los Angeles ‘Up early. I have a busy morning of pretending not to be watching the royal wedding ahead of me.’ John Boyne, novelist, tweeting yesterday ‘I think we would have all accepted that fire was a key invention without argument.’ Frankie Boyle, comedian, commenting on the sermon by the Rev Michael Curry at the wedding of Harry and Meghan, which featured a long discussion on the importance of fire ‘Would you like to have teeth like Meghan’s?’ A dentist, taking advantage of the royal wedding with this notice spotted in the window of his surgery in Manchester ‘It’s a blessing to grow old. If your face has lines around your eyes and mouth, it means you’ve laughed a lot. I pray I look older in 10 years, because that will mean I’m alive.’ Pink, 38-year-old pop star ‘I became infertile because of the cervical cancer, but I would have been the woman with the 14 kids, baking soda bread and raising chickens.’ Emma Mhic Mhathúna, who is dying of cervical cancer, on her five children and how being an only child made her want a big family ‘An out-and-out b ****** s.’ Minister Shane Ross, reportedly describing independent TD Mattie McGrath in a row over Ross’s Road Traffic Bill ‘When my wife and I argue, we are like a band in concert. We start with some new stuff and then roll out our greatest hits.’ Frank Skinner, comedian