Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘Racism is not a known side effect of our medication.’

Drug-maker Sanofi, after Roseanne Barr blamed its sleeping pill Ambien for her racist tweets

‘If you voted Yes knowing and intending abortion would be the outcome, then you should consider coming to confession where you would be received with the same compassion that is shown to any other penitent.’

Bishop of Elphin Kevin Doran, on the referendum

‘Could you ask Siobhán Ryan to either remove the false eyelashes or put a clip in her fringe to keep the eyelashes from catching in it?’

One of many neurotic complaints received by Met Éireann from viewers, as revealed by the Irish Daily Mail this week

‘It’s my way of being a superhero.’

Serena Williams, tennis star, who played at the French Open in a black catsuit

‘There’s no point in me starting the gym now. Sure it’s been hard enough for me to get into work some days.’

Glenda Gilson, pregnant Xposé presenter, says she won’t be following the example of fit pregnant women such as Vogue Williams and Aoibhín Garrihy

‘People are criticising Arkady Babchenko for being entirely nuts, but really, let he who hasn’t faked his own assassination in a dramatic double-bluff against the Russian security apparatus without telling his wife cast the first stone.’

Twitter user Declan Lawn, on the fake killing of a journalist

‘Have you noticed they cry all the time now? Always crying.’

Jilly Cooper, author, on modern men