Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘The Leaving is actually easy. I did it several times.’ Ross O’Carroll Kelly, with advice for Leaving Cert students sitting the exams ‘I met Peter Stringfellow once. I asked him what he’d be doing if he hadn’t ended up running strip clubs. He said: “Two words, benefit fraud.”’ David Baddiel, comedian, recalling the strip club owner who died this week aged 77 ‘They say time is a healer but I’ve lost my watch. How is time going to heal? I’ve no idea what time it is.’ Michael McIntyre, comedian, makes light of being robbed of his £15,000 Rolex by an armed moped gang ‘The only heated debate Richard and I ever had was when he found out that I was being paid three times more than him.’ Carol Vorderman, recalling working with countdown co-host Richard Whiteley ‘Of course it has to be led by a man. It’s a very challenging position.’ Akbar Al Baker, Qatar Airways boss, sparks uproar by claiming a woman could never do his job ‘I’m in a Steps tribute band. It’s called Ramps.’ Joke that helped cerebral palsy sufferer Lost Voice Guy win Britain’s Got Talent ‘He was nice but said he preferred Paddington.’ Hugh Grant, revealing the reaction of his dad, 89, after seeing the actor’s gay scenes in TV drama A Very English Scandal

‘Hemlock.’

Anthony Bourdain, chef, who died this week, on being asked what he would serve at the summit of Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un.

‘The online world is a nasty little place.’

Vogue Williams, talking about the abuse she receives on social media