Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘As I shook Prince Harry’s hand he admired my cap and asked for me to send one on to him.’ Michael Healy-Rae, i ndependent TD, o n h is m eeting w ith t he prince t his w eek

‘As things get worse, and they will get worse, I would caution TDs on all sides to refrain from blaming Irish Water.’ Eoghan Murphy, m inister, o n t he shortage o f w ater

‘Met Éireann have issued a red Small Talk warning for: ‘I could handle the heat but I can’t bear this humidity.’ Colm O’Regan, c omedian

‘Who would have thought a month ago that David Davis would resign before Gareth Southgate?’ Gary Lineker, f ootball pundit, a fter t he B rexit secretary q uit

‘You know the girls who everybody thinks they want to be? The ones who are dating the sexy boys, like the captain of the football team? I was nowhere near them. Those girls terrified me.’ Natalie Dormer, G ame O f Thrones a ctress, r ecalling h er school d ays

‘Am waiting for the Cork train and a gang of American students have just bought tin whistles in a gift shop and are teaching themselves Mary Had a Little Lamb.’ Maia Dunphy, T V p resenter, o n ascary t ravel e xperience

‘President Trump has actually been preparing for his meeting with the queen, listening to “Bohemian Rhapsody” for weeks now.’ Jimmy Kimmel, U S t alkshow host, o n t he P resident’s U K v isit

‘Super callous, fragile ego, Trump you are atrocious.’ Poster s potted a t p rotests against t he p resident’s U K v isit