SMOKES & DAGGERS

A mischievous mix of (mostly) news

SMOKES was surprised to learn that Fianna Fáil TD Pat ‘The Cope’ Gallagher was so concerned about Ireland’s ravers abroad in a certain hedonistic paradise. In the Dáil, the 70year-old asked Simon Coveney if an ‘honorary consul to the island of Ibiza will be appointed in view of the increasing number of visitors from here that travel there on holiday’. The Tánaiste assured the Donegal TD that Ireland had 10 honorary consulates across Spain providing support to Irish citizens and said the Department of Foreign Affairs ‘will continue to monitor the situation in relation to Ibiza’. We hope that’ll put Pat at ease ahead of his summer holiday, wherever that might be.

DURING the Taoiseach’s visit to Kerry he climbed Carrauntoohil. His guide took to the Kerry Climbing Facebook page to mark a ‘very memorable’ day but was confused by Leo’s gift. He wrote: ‘A presentation of cuff links from the Taoiseach to the man that never wears a shirt… hmmm maybe the rucksack could be pimped.’

SMOKES enjoyed this little bit of legal history, tweeted by Private Eye magazine during the week: ‘The very first libel writ Private Eye received, in 1962, was from the little-known author Colin Watson, who objected to being called

a “little-known author’.

DONALD TRUMP’s apparent confusion of the words ‘would’ and ‘wouldn’t’ led US talkshow host Jimmy Kimmel to invoke an earlier president, left: ‘This is like if Bill Clinton had come out and said: “Wait, no, I meant to say I DID have sexual relations with that woman.”’