Chris gets clingy with dream ride
Stunning Porsche is the best modern driver’s car ever made
I NEVER WANT TO GIVE THIS CAR BACK
HAIL the most rawsome, awesome, ridiculously amazing car I have driven since I began writing this column over a hundred years ago. The new 911 GT2 RS is a vision to look at, a dream to drive, heaven to smell, irresistible to the touch – in short, it’s the best version of everything it could possibly be.
Its physical form reminds me of the outlandish but mystically alluring Maserati MC12. That said, the MC12 always reminded me of a stretch Porsche GT in the first place, far more than anything to do with the Ferrari Enzo with which it shares its platform and engine.
The side scoops, the louvred wheel arches, the twin engine cover bulges, the lowered roof with its Zagato-style matching pods, the way the nose drops down to sniff the road – all classic MC12. All absolutely stunning.
Practicality, on the other hand, is unashamedly secondary. For whatever one might deem necessary for a GT2 RS road trip, there is a small cubby hole underneath the bonnet but that’s about it, apart from the additional (and very clever – but still extremely teeny) extending door cards and impressively engineered telescopic cup-holders. The latter extend out from deep within a narrow cavity where the glove box would be if this car had one – which it doesn’t. Ha!
So what we have here is a very pretty little thing with a fantastic paint job but one that is otherwise a deafening echo chamber of race-pedigree authentic austerity, stripped down to within an inch of its life in the name of maximising the power-to-weight ratio to replicate a genuine GT Series race car – a Ferrari F40 for 2018, if you like. Well you see, here’s the thing – nothing could be further from the truth.
Creaking in and out of the genuine GT bucket seats may not be the easiest task for us over-50s currently carrying a little more timber around the waistline than we’d like to admit to.
As for the rest of the cockpit interior and equipment, everything is reassuringly standard 911, save for the odd quirk like the strap door handles, which only add to the whole GT vibe anyway.
I remember Charlie Watts, he of The Rolling Stones, telling me once that although he doesn’t have the first clue how to drive, he bought a 1937 Lagonda Rapide to have in his garage just to look at and sit in. Well, Charlie, if you’re reading this and you fancy a second car, the GT2 RS could be the next set of wheels for you – we could look at them and sit in them together, without ever turning a wheel. That said, this is what happened when I did fire up the more modern of those two beauties.
The 3.8-litre flat six engine exploded into life, waking up the whole countryside in the process (please note, this thunderous cacophony is what the engine sounds like BEFORE Sport mode is selected and/or the exhaust amplification system is turned on). It’s both ridiculous but brilliant at the same time.
At 30-40kph you can sense the undertones of what is a beautifully balanced and graduated monster bit of kit. The moment when the first signs of that ‘I never want to give this car back’ manic grin begins to tighten the corners of the mouth. Then it’s breathe. Wait. Wait. Wait!
Then, whoosh – and bye-bye world. Bye-bye Brexit, bye-bye Trump, bye-bye all the useless leaden nonsense of a world gone crazy, via the ecstasy of 700 horses at 7,000rpm, red-lining in every gear, in manual or auto, normal or sport (it really doesn’t matter). This is an absolute weapon, but more crafted longbow than AK-47. If you happen to own a lesser 911 and get the chance to have a go in one of these, my sincere advice is, please don’t. Unless you can afford one and there is one left to buy (there isn’t – and it’ll cost you twice as much secondhand), you will be miserable for the rest of your life. And this is before you even contemplate a high-speed corner, a cheeky chicane-style mini-roundabout or the first of a million track days. If the new 2018 Bentley Continental GT from a few weeks back is the best all-round luxury production car ever made, this GT2 RS is the best modern driver’s car ever made. It is simply spectacular, overwhelming the opposition of luxury supercars (including the 911 Turbo S) because it feels more connected. This is a car that talks to the driver, a car that purrs with contentment one minute while screaming with adrenaline the next.
The only thing GT2 RS owners will have to be wary of is the love/ hate reaction from their fellow road-users. Vehicles like this tend to polarise opinion. They even cause people who wouldn’t usually look at a car twice to gesture what they think. One particularly conflicted individual made a point of pulling up next to me and beeping her horn while simultaneously scrunching up her face before sticking her fingers down her throat and pretending to vomit. She then promptly returned to smoking her stinking cigarette with all the windows up. Hey ho!