Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘I can honestly say I’ve never had a beer. It’s one of my only good traits.’ President Donald Trump, on being teetotal ‘It has been recommended by Amnesty that, instead of the current definition of “woman”, the term be amended to “a pregnant person of age”.’ Joan Collins, independent TD, bizarrely concerned that the abortion legislation before the Dáil could be offensive to transgendered people ‘I find it difficult to conceive of a bankrupt who could be more obstructive and less cooperative with the bankruptcy process.’ Judge Caroline Costello, attacking failed developer Seán Dunne as she enforced a 12-year bankruptcy order ‘Marriage is a really beautiful, noble and worthwhile institution, pursuit and endeavour. You create this third entity, this third being that you have to nourish and look after.’ Gwyneth Paltrow, throwing herself enthusiastically into marriage No.2 ‘Live now. Tomorrow, who knows?’ Charles Aznavour, crooner, who died this week aged 94 ‘Some of your colleagues are pushing the theory that Mr Skripal was some kind of human rights activist. He was a spy… He’s a scumbag.’ Vladimir Putin, Russian president, attacking ex-spy Sergei Skripal, who was poisoned in Salisbury by Russian agents ‘I’ve told him there will be no Septimus and no Octopus. I have had enough.’ Helena Rees-Mogg, wife of Conservative MP Jacob, rules out more children – her sixth child is called Sixtus