Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘These people are incapable of selfgovernment. Direct rule from Dublin increasingly seems like the only charitable option.’ John Gallagher, Irish academic in England, on the Brexit mess

‘Arlene Foster and Sammy Wilson are REALLY upset about Theresa May’s Brexit deal. Or to use the names on their post-Brexit passports, “Árlín Ní Fosteair” agus “Sammaí Wilseán”.’ Oliver Callan, comic

‘I feel I should take the job of Brexit secretary now. If only so that when I resign, Theresa May can finally be proven right that No Deal is better than a Baddiel.’ David Baddiel, comedian, after Dominic Rabb’s resignation

‘I’m really into humans, just from planet Earth’

Rachel Weisz, actress, says she is not worrying about whether to raise her new baby with Bond actor Daniel Craig as British or American

‘The text was shared with the Irish national broadcaster RTÉ first and not the BBC, it is discourteous to the nation.’

Jacob Rees-Mogg, Tory MP and arch-Brexiteer, angry that the details of Theresa May’s Brexit deal with the EU had leaked to RTÉ first

‘I was actually saying he was a total disgrace. I told him he should consider resignation.’

Peter Casey, presidential candidate, responding to claims he wanted to join the Independent Alliance because he was seen talking to Shane Ross

‘Fact is, I had no reason to do it. I just thought, f*** it, life is boring so why not?’

Ian David Long, 28, ex-Marine who killed 12 people in last week’s California gun massacre