AFTER his mauling at the hands of the band LCD Soundsystem, the Taoiseach certainly had reason to feel on far safer ground with Kylie. The Australian pop princess has an enormous gay fan base and she’s so lacking in cool that even if Donald Trump bulldozed his way backstage to squeeze her delicate fingers in his chubby paw, there would be no damage to her glitzy image.
No chance at all of the diminutive diva copying the hip LCD Soundsystem guitarist and calling Leo a ‘tosser’.
Instead she wore her best professional smile as she posed between the starstruck Taoiseach, his boyfriend Dr Matt and their pals, all visibly glowing from shimmying to Spinning Around and the exhilarating thrill of being in her presence.
But Leo’s gang, who proudly wore their laminated passes to Kylie’s Golden Tour around their necks, had no idea of the train that was hurtling down the tracks towards him.
It arrived in the shape of a Facebook hater (on social media, critics are known as haters) who reported seeing the Taoiseach and his cronies tucking into a free meal at the concert and leaving without tipping.
Our leader snapped into action at this dreadful calumny and, showing the decisiveness for which he is not yet renowned, tweeted: ‘There was no meal, we only had drinks and I paid. I have the receipt to prove it too.’
IT GOES without saying there was a Twitterstorm from Leo’s followers, most of them scratching their heads as to how the leader of a country that’s facing extraordinary challenges like Brexit, a decrepit health service and housing crisis, has either the time, energy or inclination to tackle such nonsense.
Should he not be tracking his British counterpart who is, whatever else you can say about her, at least doing the job for which she is paid? May is trying to chart what she believes is the best way forward for her country through the Brexit quagmire while securing her own future.
Meanwhile in France, Leo’s best buddy Emmanuel Macron is in trouble having done a U-turn on the carbon tax which caused turmoil on the streets. All over the world there are politicians trying to improve people’s lives, yet our Taoiseach – or his staff – are devoting themselves to demolishing the pathetic ramblings of an internet warrior.
Who else can afford the luxury of safeguarding their public reputation in such meticulous detail? Kim Jong-un in North Korea or the childlike Mr Trump?
The bizarre priorities of our Taoiseach, his relentless emphasis on spinning himself into a suave Mister Cool does not just show him as deluded and immature, it raises alarming questions about his ability to lead in a crisis.
His recent promise to cut taxes over the next three budgets is a naked attempt to win support in the general election.
His approach to problems like housing and health is to pass the parcel to the relevant minister and observe them make a hames of it.
EVEN though he is a former Health minister and medical doctor, he panicked in the face of the cervical cancer crisis. He added to the chaos, making promises he couldn’t keep but which served the shortterm goal of quelling public disquiet and presenting himself as authoritative. He said the State would compensate patients and pursue litigation against the laboratories, but that could never happen.
Along with the inert HSE, he allowed public ignorance about smear testing to flourish so that confidence in cancer screening was almost shattered. He didn’t intervene when Simon Harris inflamed the catastrophe by frantically offering a free smear test to every woman.
Economists say the next global recession is not far away. Who knows when it will fall, but can we depend on the Taoiseach to make tough decisions that will shatter his precious image and make him unpopular? His performance during the cervical cancer crisis – the one time he was tested – hardly suggests we can.