POWER OF THE PARISH
Brothers Shane and Paddy Stapleton will be 50 miles apart today, chasing glory with Cuala and Borris-Ileigh, but united by the support both clubs showed in dealing with the grief of their sister Amanda’s passing...
SHANE STAPLETON is well aware of life’s ups and downs. It’s a year to the day since the fundraiser. A year since a club and GAA community rallied around the Stapleton family for a fundraiser for Amanda that involved a benefit match between Tipperary and Kilkenny, billed as ‘The Legends Return’. Pulling the strings of it all together was Paddy – two-time All-Ireland winner with Tipperary. There was also older sibling Shane, whose journalistic career took him from the north Tipperary village of Borrisoleigh to the bright lights and big city of Dublin where the bragging rights with his brother became a thing of friendly ribbing when he went on to win two All-Irelands himself with Cuala.
He laughs at the culture clash when the Dalkey set met Borris in all its artistry. ‘As you’re coming from the Templemore side, there’s a mural of Bart Simpson holding a hurley saying, “Kiss My Ash”. When the Cuala boys came down for the fundraiser, that was something that absolutely cracked them up.’
On that Saturday night, November 3, they came from far and wide to help raise funds for Amanda. She was 30 years old, living and working as a teacher in London, when a headache and light-headed feeling came out of nowhere and left her wondering if she had a touch of vertigo. She found herself losing mobility in her left arm and leg while a subsequent hospital visit discovered a bleed on her brain.
From that point, her world – and that of her family – was turned upside down.
It’s why Liam Sheedy was at Bishop Quinlan Park to take charge of a star-studded Tipperary line-up that had Seamus Callanan at 11 and Eoin Kelly at 14. DJ Carey was there to oversee a similarly celebrated Kilkenny lineup.
‘The two clubs in different ways have been unbelievable support networks,’ explains Shane. ‘The Borris-Ileigh club obviously hosted the fundraiser, which was huge. So many people from Cuala came down to support it. I remember watching the two O’Callaghans [Con and Cian] dancing with my mother together at the same time – they were great fun. Everyone got on great.’
Shane’s mother Patricia has put her own unique spin on the preparations for today’s county final between Borris-Ileigh and Kiladangan. ‘My mother has a mannequin out the front of her house. She used to have a clothes shop so she had one left over which is dressed up in Borrisoleigh colours.’
It’s a thing of wonder, the shop dummy with a banded hurl in hand, with the sort of moody glare that seems perfectly suited to the occasion and the club’s latest attempt to win a first title since 1986.
The Borris bounce
IN THE family order, Tim is the eldest of the four brothers, Paul the youngest. And then there’s John, the father. Original owner of the ‘Saint’ nickname passed on to his sons.
In the build-up, Shane sat down with local hero Richie Stakelum for a wonderfully colourful chat on #OurGame, his online platform of video diaries covering club and county. The story of the last county title win in ’86 is legend, the odyssey leading all the way to All-Ireland glory on St Patrick’s Day. A train was organised so the whole village could travel as one up to Croke Park.
Local character Paudie Dolan was lifted on shoulders on the platform of Heuston Station, chaired onto the train for the journey home with the Borrisoleigh cock raised high in his arms to raucous acclaim. It’s the rooster that is the same symbol on the club’s crest.
John gets a mention at different stages. It’s a precursor to his son’s career when it’s casually mentioned he did match commentary. ‘He used to do video the games, then sell them to the clubs,’ laughs Shane. ‘My father is a real character. Everyone just loves him. He would have hurled but he’d always say he had unreal hands, just didn’t have great feet! He was part of the panel that won the county title in ’81.’
Stakelum mentions that Borris always had a reputation for being ‘fond of liquor, fond of dogs, fond of lots of other things as well!’ That sometimes they needed an outside person to pull them together.
‘There was a very strong rumour that one or two of the lads were in a famous den of inequity of Nenagh the night before [the crunch ’86 game against Toomevara]. And one rumour has it that one of them any way scored 12 points that day. Supposedly drank one more the night before. That kick-started us.’ So does that still apply?
‘Yes, absolutely,’ says Shane. ‘My father, I was looking to get him to do something last weekend, watch the Kilkenny county finals, but sure he was going after the hares. He ran the bar down at the coursing meeting for 30 years.
‘There is plenty of bunting around Borris. But there are also murals around the place. Like of three or four different players, beside the car park in the middle of the town.
‘A mural inside Joe’s – the pub that’s called Stapletons that’s run by the Cowans. A mural of BorrisIleigh’s All-Ireland winning captains in there. Done by Timmy O’Connell.’
At 2.30pm then, as the ball is thrown in at Semple Stadium, Paddy will line out at full-back where he was recently picked in a Tipperary club team of the year.
Shane will be 50 miles away in Netwatch Cullen Park in Carlow where Dublin champions Cuala take on Carlow champions St Mullins in a Leinster quarter-final.
The one person on all of their minds is Amanda.
Strength in sorrow
‘When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.’
HONOURED just last weekend at the Gaelic Writers Awards, BorrisIleigh’s All-Star defender Brendan Maher spoke of the Shakespearean series of tragedies that have afflicted families in the village. Of digging a grave in St Brigid’s Cemetery in Borrisoleigh for a young man, someone he had coached at Under 21 level.
The burial of Nicky Cooney came too soon after the untimely death of another member of that same underage team, John Ryan.
As cups have been lifted at various recent county finals, the memories invoked of loved ones taken too early have been a common theme. Ballyhale manager Henry Shefflin – who came out of retirement to tog out with a heavy knee bandage at last November’s benefit – spoke so poignantly on the passing of team member Eugene Aylward.
In early May, Amanda Stapleton passed away. Shane speaks with searing honesty of his sister’s death and how the real struggle so often takes place behind closed doors. He’ll be with Cuala today, but only in a back-up role. ‘I more or less jacked in the first half of the year because I was spending so much time in London with my sister. It’s always hard to talk about. I just get hit by the chills every time I talk about it. I can hardly look at a photograph without getting overcome.
‘I got the news of her diagnosis as I was going to the hob to prepare dinner ahead of a championship match against Ballyboden last year. Our goalkeeper Seán Brennan had come in – I was going to give him a lift to the match. I haven’t really played properly since. I didn’t go to the game that night. I was supposed to start but I was in bits. I went into my room and sat on my bed not knowing what to do. Moving forward and back, on my hunkers. Eventually I just drove down to Borrisoleigh just to see my family who were all devastated of course. I togged out a couple of times after that but effectively, I haven’t hurled since.’
Even as he travelled over and back to Amanda in London, he struggled to process fate’s random cruelty. ‘She couldn’t be moved because she was so unwell. I was over there a few days pretty much every week. Two or three days, because my job was somewhat flexible. A lot of others’ jobs were Monday to Friday but I’d go over during the week. I put my career very much on the back burner for six or nine months. And hurling then was the last thing I cared about. So I didn’t really hurl because I was like, “What does it matter?” I really couldn’t have cared less, even though the support
I got from the club was incredible. It was more that it just felt all so pointless.
‘I’d show up to training. I mightn’t have been there in a while. Amanda’s still ill and I’d show up for a bit of release, to take my mind off things for an hour. Meaning well, people would be saying to me “How’s your sister?” Her situation was always deteriorating. So people were asking a nice question – but it would always leave me in bits. Understandably, people get on with training but mentally I’m distraught.
‘I explained this even to the manager and one of the players, would they mind not asking me because it was too difficult to even talk about. So even when people are trying to be so positive, it can take a little toll.’
So how did Paddy and himself find a way through it, to where they will both be involved with Borris-Ileigh and Cuala?
‘Pa would have continued playing with Borris throughout, going over to London at the weekends. During the week, you want to try and keep a routine. He had the club there all the time. We probably reacted differently. I was like, “What’s the point?” I suppose he was like, “I’m going to do this anyway.”
You know the way people talk about, “Isn’t it brilliant to win something after the tough year you’ve had?” It’s not that winning a county title would make any blind bit of difference. They’re not in any way related. But the brilliance of BorrisIleigh winning a county title is that it would give people a positive day.
Unrelated to the terrible times they’ve gone through.
‘There has been several tragedies in Borrisoleigh this year. There’s two young lads on that team who have lost their friends. Obviously, it’s never going to bring back the people who have been lost. If it gives people a day of release… just something positive. I’d be thinking of my mother and my family going to watch this match. Like it’s not going to change anything for them. But at least they might get a nice day where everyone is brought together with something positive.’
Brothers in arms
ON THE same Sunday afternoon a fortnight ago that Cuala won the county final against St Brigid’s, Borris-Ileigh beat Kilruane
MacDonaghs to set up a shot at lifting the Dan Breen Cup. So many thoughts went through Shane’s head as he sat watching Cuala in Parnell Park. ‘I was injured. So I was sitting up in the stand. Of course, you wouldn’t have your phone in that sort of situation. So I was completely transfixed through the match. So we win the title, barely get over the line against St Brigid’s, and someone comes up to me – I can’t even remember who – and said, “Borris are after winning as well.” I said, “Really?” And I started giving it the old fist pump. I was delighted for Paddy because I know how much he wants it.
‘A couple of years ago, funnily enough, it was also St Brigid’s. We played them in a quarter-final. I was coming on in the last 20 minutes. Somehow got across the line and that was the year we went on and got the second All-Ireland. But I remember going out in the second half for the warm-up. Vinny Holden, you know the Schuttes’ uncle, he goes, “Borris are miles behind.” It was against Thurles in the county final. So I was like, “ah no”. So it was nice, after playing Brigid’s again, to hear they were back in the county final.’
There’s no question of divided loyalties. Whether the mannequin will make it to Semple Stadium is another thing but there is only one place his parents could be expected to go. ‘I’m injured anyway. My parents couldn’t be more dyed in the wool, maroon and white. So they have to go to that match. They have always supported me in what I’m doing, have been at so many matches. But this is a huge one. A big difference between a quarterfinal and a possible first county title in 33 years.’
Shane just turned 37; Paddy is 34, raging too against the dying of the light. Borris-Ileigh’s own twitter profile not only lists the club’s roll of honour: ‘1 All-Ireland Club, 1 Munster Club, 6 County SHC, 15 North SHC’ but rounds off the tagline with ‘one club-one life’.
Except life doesn’t always slot so easily into such simple boxes. A part of Shane’s heart beats red and white as well as maroon and white. ‘Cuala have been unbelievable to me in the nine seasons I’ve played for them. They did a fundraiser for Amanda also, along with (radio show) Off The Ball. So many people rowed in behind. I’ll always be from Borrisoleigh but Cuala have made a home for me too. People might think you could never be as close to people from a different place. But you go to college and make friends for life so why couldn’t you meet people in the club as adults and have them as some of your closest friends ever?’
For someone with a visible media profile, he’s switched to radio silence as far as checking in with Paddy is concerned. Just this week of the final. ‘I just haven’t been down
this week. I don’t want to text him about it. Especially with me being a journalist. We watched the Tipp quarterfinal together. I’d be chatting to him regularly.
‘He wrote a column for the Nenagh Guardian this summer and last summer. I tried to copy him by winning All-Irelands; he tried to copy me by becoming a writer.’
Brothers in arms. Today, and every other Sunday. No matter the distance between them.
‘IT’S NOT GOING TO BRING PEOPLE BACK BUT IT CAN BE A RELEASE’