Niamh Walsh’s Manifesto
Little white lockdown lie of ‘we’re all in it together’
SO IT became all too apparent this week that contrary to the countrywide call to comradery we are not actually in it together, after all.
The truth is really we never really were all in it together.
The Government knew it, and let’s be honest so did we.
We desperately wanted to believe it was so and, for a while, we put our absolute heart and soul into making it real and for the majority were mostly on message.
But, no, we didn’t need Phil Hogan the other 80 eejits to expose the
Government’s little white lie. We were never all in it together, and deep down we all knew it.
The whole ‘in it together’ incantation is just another of life’s meaningless mantras, trotted out in difficult times and used as a weapon of coercion to bend one to another’s will.
It’s like that old chestnut, ‘the truth will set you free’. Really, does it? As a true crime connoisseur I can safely say that coming clean to any crime or other transgression does not in fact set you free.
Au contraire, the truth often times is liberty depriving. Should in a moment of madness you be swayed to truthful side do so at your peril.
If in a fit of conscience, you tell your boss that those Fridays you called in sick you were really hungover, shopping or simply not bothered and pulled the ‘woman’s’ problem’ get-of-work card, I hazard a guess that the only thing you would be set free from is your employment contract.
And the idiom that ‘money can’t buy happiness’ is also a little bit of a fib. True, money can’t buy actual happiness, but it can buy a jet ski and has anyone ever seen a sad person on a jet ski.
And let’s face it being poor is hardly a party.
So while we can all now agree that we’re not in together, the little white lie that we were sold was for the common good and had the desired effect.
Neighbours rallied around and there was a countrywide community effort to keep to lockdown which was simply incredible.
But now just as the virus is having a resurgence we too need to regroup and regain that fighting spirit.
It is more pressing than ever before that we make-believe once again that we are still in it together because if we don’t, the most harm will befall those that were in it from the outset and not those who never ever were or will be.
A howling Gael of political idiocy
IN A week where politics descended into some sort of D’Unbelievables dramedy, Fine Gael’s Paul Kehoe and Kenny Egan added their names to what is becoming a lengthy list of political clowns.
Former minister for defence Kehoe clearly learned nothing from his dealings with the army when he went to battle for Phil Hogan. After Hogan had left office, Kehoe piped up for his party buddy saying ‘the British are laughing their heads off at us’.
This is despite the fact that Boris ‘the butt of a million jokes’ Johnson will go down in history as being the leader whose best Covid advice to the British public was to wash their hands whilst singing happy birthday twice.
And the Conservatives quickly became a pandemic punchline when it was revealed that chief adviser Dominic Cummings went on a cross-country family jaunt while being a virus carrier.
Then there is UK government scientist Neil Ferguson who thought it a good idea to have a lockdown lover visit him from half-way across London.
So the British are in no position to laugh at any other nation.
Boxer-turned-councillor Kenny Egan also thought the rules didn’t apply to him when he travelled from Essex in the UK to west Cork seven days after his arrival, breaking Covid-19 travel restrictions. Egan resigned the party whip, although I imagine Fine Gael will soldier on. But he still gets to keep his council seat – with pay and expenses.
One would wonder if Egan’s jaunt was borne out of ignorance or stupidity, although in his case, I’ll take a punt it’s the latter.
Melania’s side-eye steals the show
IT’S A hard task at the best of times to upstage any president. But when he happens to be orange, maniacal, waffling and with a head of yellow hair that looks like it’s about to lift off then it’s nigh on impossible. But first lady Melania Trump actually managed to steal the stage from her husband at the Republican Congress this week with a glamorous green gown and a steely stare that said more than words ever could.
Melania has the dutiful wife role down to perfection but those that dismiss her silence do so at their peril, as the first daughter Ivanka discovered this week.
Ivanka gave a lengthy and forgettable speech, extolling whatever virtues she could fathom about her father.
When she was finally done speaking she turned expecting, one assumes, to be met by the adoring embrace of her daddy dearest.
Instead she was met by the cold black stare of Melania and without words, or even a flinch, it sent Ivanka scuttling for cover.
Melania’s menacing side-eye was a clear indictor that it is she who wears the trousers – Gucci of course – in the Trump household.
Spitting Image is no laughing matter
YOU may have noticed in this week’s bumper TV guide that satirical show Spitting Image is making a comeback soon.
But the creators of the comedy series must themselves be spitting venom and shredding scripts to be beat the band as the show’s puppets can hardly entertain more than their alter-ego real-life muppets across the Irish sea.
Ciara usurps the curmudgeon
CIARA DOHERTY has been installed as the co-host of Virgin Media’s Tonight Show. And no better person for the job than Ciara.
The Ireland AM presenter has all of the skills, charm, wit and smarts to present the current affairs show. She is also a welcome breath of fresh air from the departed curmudgeon Ivan Yates.
I have the distinct feeling that the Tonight Show will be well worth catching with Ciara at the helm with, of course, Matt Cooper as her sidekick.