Covid may well wreak havoc, but we’ll all still crave our shirty family
ONE of the unintended consequences of Covid, (hang on, you might ask, were there any intended ones?) is that we are all obsessed about this Christmas. Especially the idea of being with family – and particularly grandparents – after this year’s endless anxiety and restrictions.
Truth be told, this is not always the way we feel about family gatherings. In normal times, there are quite a few people who will happily avoid spending too much time hunkered down with their kin, stewing in a fog of over-eating and excessive wrapping paper.
Volunteering for Christmas overtime is not always an entirely altruistic action and in the days when offices were open it was interesting how many people managed to find reasons to nip back to work over the holidays. But not in this year of coronavirus. This year we are maxing on everything Christmas.
Trees have been installed weeks early. Mistletoe, whether despite or because of kissing limits, is out of stock. Grocery delivery slots are filled until January. John Lewis haven’t had any acceptable fairy lights for weeks (does anyone really use those neon blue ropes which are the only ones still left?).
You’d think that since we were all being encouraged to have smaller celebratory groups, supplies of large turkeys would be languishing like wallflowers at the dance, but not at all. They’ve also been out of stock for weeks, too.
It’s as if the uncertainty and precariousness of whether we would be allowed to gather for Christmas this year has encouraged everyone to double up on the whole shebang. Much of this excessive Christmas preparation is displacement activity. If we get all the trimmings in place; hang up enough glittering baubles, deck the halls, and ensure that there is no way we could possibly run out of brandy butter, then Christmas will feel normal. Even though we know it can’t be.
As someone with quite a complicated family structure due to separations, divorce and people with new partners in the picture, usually our best way of managing Christmas has been to see different groups over several days. Some years we’ve even managed to have a big lunch all together. But this year neither is an option. So we’re split into unusual configurations.
For the first time in 25 years I won’t be spending the day with my son who has decided to stay with his father who they both feel will be safer not joining the larger group I hope to meet with.
Meanwhile, my partner has had to make a choice between being with his own children or with me. Luckily he is pretty sanguine about the situation and no doubt is heartily relieved to be freed from his usual vegetable peeling duties.
I, though, am childishly railing about any deviation from the norm. ‘Think of it as being cute and cosy,’ someone advised me. But I can’t.
Of course, Covid may be able to wreak havoc on the world but it won’t alter the usual family dynamics, once we’re all together. We love each other but everyone knows that family can wind you up like no one else. Within minutes of meeting siblings, even the most sensible adults can revert to their childhood patterns of competitive behaviour. And though all the children are now ‘grown up’ and it’s no longer about getting teenagers out of bed or putting on shoes for lunch, that doesn’t mean there aren’t other things to get shirty about in ways you never do outside family
Nonetheless, confronted with the general chaos and insecurity of this year none of this matters or is even remembered. Instead the restorative vision of a Dickensian feast with the family gathered around as the pudding is lit and the crackers pulled is the emotional security blanket we all crave and are hell-bent on enjoying.
Taking the positives from foreign tests
A FRIEND of mine travelled to Italy last week where they were tested on arrival. They received a ‘faint positive’ diagnosis – thankfully not a category that has yet reached us here.
It’s bad enough dealing with simple positives and negatives without getting into that kind of minutiae. And what kind of comfort would there be in a ‘faint negative’?
Now I’ve tuned into another country
MY radio listening habits have tracked the course of the pandemic. At the start I was plugged into 24/7 news and chatter, eager to hear every snippet of information and debate. I graduated to the more soothing Classic FM and BBC Radio 3 by the second lockdown when it was all too familiar and depressing. Now, as we lurch into further restrictions, I’m tuned into Chris Country, a station that seems to be spot on for my mood.
The schmaltzy, drama of country music with its you-done-me-wrong guys and you-broke-my heart girls, barstool nights and steamy days is a great antidote to what’s going on in real life. And not a mention of you know what….
Everyone knows family can wind you up like no one else can
Psychology behind the festive treats
DID Camilla choose to wear jeans in her Christmas card with Prince Charles so she would not appear too showy amid a global pandemic? Probably not, but it’s fun to practice cod psychology on those Christmas card portraits. Sadly, there seem to be more reindeers and snowstorms around and fewer family groups to pick apart than usual. No doubt yet another sideeffect of the virus.
Bet I’ve put on more weight than you...
CORONAVIRUS has turned the world topsy-turvy in so many ways. Friends used to boast about how much weight they’ve lost. Now after months of lockdowns we’re all competitively sharing how much weight we’ve put on – my load is harder to bear than yours.