Taps drip and limescale gathers as lockdown life takes its inevitable toll
WE’RE all nearly a year older than when we first went into lockdown. And it’s not only policemen who seem youthful to me these days. When I heard Grant Shapps was the first UK cabinet minister to have the jab, at the age of 52, my first thought was: ‘Gosh, the rest must all be so young.’
Now that’s ageing for you.
But my growing older is in slo-mo compared to what’s happened to our poor house, which has been falling apart over the past 12 months.
In normal times, I confess to having someone help with the cleaning once a week. She dashes around with a mop and vacuum, keeping the place professionally spruce.
But over the past year, her presence has been intermittent – it didn’t seem fair to ask her to travel to us when the virus was raging, and even though she was officially allowed in the house, her presence was clearly an added risk factor.
Falling back on our own domestic expertise has taken its toll on the old place, as have the many more hours, days and weeks we’ve spent closeted at home.
Hence our floorboards, which with my immaculate eye for practicality (not) are all bare and painted white, have a new patina of ingrained dirt from so much more time spent traipsing up and down the stairs – spilling tea and coffee as we go.
Taps drip, limescale gathers and sofas sag. The dials on the hob have broken, and there is an unnerving crack in the sitting-room wall.
I know there are some who have used lockdown as an opportunity to get into DIY, alphabetise their spice jars and label the linen cupboard – but sadly I am not one of those. Unlike my own appearance, where I fear additional wrinkles and creases can’t be reversed (at least not without the cosmetic interference I don’t subscribe to), most of our home’s signs of age can hopefully be dealt with quickly, once life opens up.
Technically, we are already allowed what are quaintly termed ‘tradespeople’ inside, so there is nothing to stop home rejuvenation taking place right now.
But it’s hard to get the enthusiasm for fixing things when we are still so many days from real freedom. Instead, I sit here spending hours looking at the scuffed skirting and discovering ever more evidence of wear and tear. A bit like my face.
I sit here spending hours looking at the scuffed skirting
London needs bold ideas and an elevated park is just that
At last! Arresting TV is back on air
SOMETIMES it seems as if we’ve watched everything on Netflix, so thank heavens my favourites Line Of Duty and Unforgotten are either back on TV or about to return for a new series.
The success of these police dramas is certainly helped by terrific writers, but it’s the actors so many of us have come to love: Nicola Walker, Adrian Dunbar, Sanjeev Bhaskar and let’s not forget Keeley Hawes and Stephen Graham.
These may not be globally recognised names, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t end up having longer careers than many bigscreen idols. We invite them into our homes again and again, admiring their emotional range but also bathing in a warm sense of familiarity that only increases with time.
A free view… with a £35m price tag
AS A confirmed townie, a toddle around the local park with a flat white or an excursion to the comparatively open spaces of Hampstead Heath or Richmond Park was about the sum of my walks before all of this.
As the first lockdown kicked in, country dwellers began to rhapsodise about their ambles through the glorious fields and pathways – almost like they were partaking in some masquerade complete with shepherdesses’ crooks and milking pails.
Naturally, city dwellers started to compete, boasting about the joys of urban hikes, long walks along canal towpaths, littleknown alleyways, or the empty streets of the City.
So I was delighted to learn that the Camden Highline, London’s version of New York’s raised walkway, is now going ahead.
The capital needs bold, rejuvenating projects for rundown areas and an elevated park is exactly that. But can someone explain why the budget, for what will be less than a mile of pathway, is £35m?
So many brilliant ideas neglect to keep it simple and hit the skids with costs spiralling when things get too fancy. After all, the view over the city, which is a huge part of the attraction, comes for free.
I can’t take seven more weeks of hell
GENERALLY, I have absolutely zero yearning for the days of Margaret Thatcher, but right now I wish she was back at No10.
She would never, NEVER, have made us wait another seven weeks to get to the hairdresser.
Even though I have no doubt she was a whizz with the Carmen rollers, that rigid helmet of hers needed a professional hand kept on it. The Iron Lady would have grasped that hairdressers can easily be made Covid-safe and would understand that getting our hair done is not just vanity but an essential activity that gives selfesteem and confidence.
Boris, with his Worzel Gummidge barnet, clearly doesn’t get it. So instead, everyone around me is having surreptitious trims at home – particularly the men (like Boris).
And while I’m on the subject, how has Nicola Sturgeon managed to maintain exactly the same hairstyle all year without a millimetre of change in that ginger pixie cut?