Aisling O’Loughlin A sad farewell to Kimye
Will we ever forget the day Kimye turned up at the cinema in Portlaoise and then Tullamore? On the same day. On their honeymoon. Entertainment.ie called it ‘a cultural landmark for cinemas in the Midlands’. Indeed it was a surprise for all involved. Surely a sign of boredom.
Don’t we only watch movies because there’s nothing better to do? Two in a row was certainly an omen of things to come back in May 2014 when hope of a ‘happy ever after’ seemed remote. In fairness, they did well to last six years.
I watched a stinker the other night. A complete waste of life. The Secret on Netflix, starring Katie Holmes. I thought there’d be some fascinating insights into the Law of Attraction to finally crack the code and attract the squillions waiting in my vortex. Nope. Pure drivel. I felt empty as the credits rolled. Emptied more like.
Still, there was nothing better to do. At least that’s what I thought. I suppose I could have been writing poetry, or making pottery, or baking banana bread, or reading bedtime stories to the kids. Better to just stare vacantly at a screen to kill an hour or two. Let the resentment of having to clean the kitchen after dinner (again) subside a little. Positive thoughts. Yeah, right.
At least that was one thing Kim and Kanye never had to worry about. Domestic chores. How many lockdown divorces will there be for that reason alone? Can’t you just voluntarily wipe down the counter because it’s the right thing to do without being asked? Is it not enough that I made dinner for everyone? Pours wine. Sighs. Pot awaiting scrubbing within visual range.
We’ve all seen Kimye’s kitchen. Even if we didn’t want to succumb to the Kardashian circus. It popped up somewhere, impossible to ignore. No crumbs. No condiments. No splatter. Showroom clinical. The sparse fridge Insta photo raised questions only to be brought on a tour to reveal other fridges with fresh organic produce, all neatly stacked and categorised. No decaying lettuce. No spillages. No cakes. No alcohol. No temptation. What was this world? A private chef on standby to make sense of it all and cleaners to ensure an impeccable finish. Sometimes love (and freedom from domestic duties) just isn’t enough. For all the fakery and toxic hard selling of reality TV, their love seemed real. They tried. They’ve made a beautiful family and they’ll figure it out as they go along. Like the rest of us.
The vaccine might pose a problem. Kanye is against, ‘the mark of the beast’ he told Forbes while setting out his stall for his failed US presidential bid, after revealing he had Covid-19. Kim has been an ardent advocate of vaccines on the reality show. Tricky. We don’t all agree. Never have.
Finding ways to respect each other’s perspectives can seem like a bridge too far. At least we’ll always have Portlaoise (and Tullamore). Memories sealed in the collective canon of time, when two superstars zoned out to Hollywood entertainment for €6 a head. A time before our worlds turned upside down and made us question everything.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are just like us, except they’re not