EMMERDALE

The cranky older woman who says what she wants and stuns listeners into raised-eyebrows silence has long been a feature of soapland. Corrie’s Maud was the hilariously vile mother of Maureen, and never had a good word to say about anyone. Today, the show has Tyrone’s gran, Evelyn, who, despite her tough exterior, is rather sensitive and aware, especially when it comes to dogs (Cerberus is her canine companion).

For a long time, Emmerdale’s

Edna entertained us with her jibes and fondness for small dogs (a dog is a must for these women, if we are to see their softer side). Now, into this arena, steps EastEnders’

Vi, grandmother to Stuart and Callum. Riotously outspoken, the character is an instant hit, and Gwen Taylor’s comic timing is second to none. She’s slipped into the role so effortlessly, it’s as if she’s been in the show forever.

Vi’s arrival has already produced some sublime lines from the writers: her response to Callum marrying Ben (insisting on calling the latter Whitney because old habits die hard) was laughaloud funny, and we must pray she stays in Walford for many years.

■ LIV-ING DANGEROUSLY The only good thing about Liv drinking is that it keeps her mouth occupied for a small amount of time and prevents her preaching to anyone who stands still long enough to endure it. Paul, Vinny, Mandy – every time she opens her mouth, it’s like sitting through the Sermon on the Mount, twiddling your thumbs and wondering when the bread and fish are going to arrive.

Now she’s having an altercation with Aaron (pictured), who begs her to tell Vinny the truth about Paul, but her lips are sealed (I wish). Instead, she goes to the pub and takes home a sleazy stranger. That’ll end well.