Niamh Walsh’s Manifesto
Keep a secret and preserve the wonder of yule
I READ this week that a certain cohort of parents was letting their children in on the great ‘big secret’ ahead of the festive season. The rationale behind fessing up is, by all accounts, their wokey way of parenting as they pledged never, ever to lie to their kids.
Just ho, ho, hold on. Parents are duty-bound to fib to their young ones. For their own and the greater good. Children need to be insulated from the ills of the world – so they can assimilate its wonder and its challenges at a sustainable pace.
The stork brings the babies, the dead family pet has gone to live on the farm, and yes, fairytales sometimes do come true. Now, while I was canny enough, even as a smallsie, to cotton on to the fact my folks were gilding the lily, I lapped it up with all the wonder my little heart could muster.
Optimism and blind belief that life is limitless is the purview of the young. That should be carefully nurtured, not callously crushed.
Guardians are gatekeepers of secrets and, as such, they shield children from the realities of real life for as long as they can.
Then there is also the very real issue that the rights of some parents will trample the rights of too many others.
Children are by their very nature little squealers and invoking the ‘triangle of trust’ clause with tots will not impede them telling their little classmates the ‘secret’. We now exist in a world where a plurality of rights exist. But when rights are increasingly, and invariably so diametrically opposed, we cannot peacefully co-exist without one person’s rights superseding the rights of many others.
If old St Nick can find a way to make so many people so happy, one day a year, then surely the real grown-ups can equally be as imaginative when it comes to real-life issues.
Can we cancel the big cheques?
ANOTHER week, another celebrity cancelling. Last week, readers will have read about Graham Linehan being written out of Father Ted, the comedy series he co-wrote with Arthur Mathews.
Linehan’s castigation from society, which included targeted threats, is similar to the fate suffered by Harry Potter creator JK Rowling. It was also revealed this week that two US Quidditch leagues are to change their names to ‘distance’ themselves from Ms Rowling, following her row with transgender activists. Quidditch first appeared as a fictional sport, played by wizards on flying broomsticks in her series of books.
For context: We’re talking about a bunch of adults who play a madeup game that involves pretending to fly around on broomsticks to win an imaginary league invented by someone whose comments they now find egregious.
Whether you agree with Linehan or Rowling or not is entirely irrelevant. That they should be obliterated from their own creations is unbelievable. But if JK Rowling and Graham Linehan and others are to be obliterated, then surely it is time for a ‘cancel-all’ clause.
The rule should apply that if you cancel the creator, then cancel everything. Burn the books, set fire to the films, make mulch of the merchandise, pay back the cheques.
Were studio executives and movie stars forced to hand back their hefty cut and forgo future earnings, I suspect there would be far less capitulation to cancel culture. It’s only in make-believe land that people are prepared to stand up and be counted at considerable cost to themselves.
Adopt a Christmas puppy in 2022
THIS week I had three dashes to the vets with poorly pooches. Some were common-day canine ailments like Georgie ‘the Shih Tzu’ Clooney’s ear issues. Readers will, of course, know of my Little Miss Ruby, callously dumped to die in a dark ditch because she was so inbred by a grubby puppy farmer she wouldn’t even have been afforded the dignity of being put to sleep humanely. Ruby breaks my heart as she struggles to get about on her bandy little legs. But get about she does, the determined and adored little madam that she is.
Dogs really can teach us so much about resilience and courage. And while it often aches my heart to see her struggle it also lifts my spirits to see her big brown eyes. My dogs have particular issues but the vast majority of pooches in rescue centres have little or no problems and make wonderful pets. The New Year will invariably bring the dumping of Christmas puppies. So, if getting a pet is in your plans for 2022, then I implore that you adopt and not shop.
Monkeying about with our politicians
DUBLIN Zoo has big plans with its approaching bicentennial by constructing new habitats for a variety of species. A proposal for the protected political class would surely be an attraction for the masses.
This past year we have seen three wise monkeys of Fianna Fáil, Fine Gael and The Greens fight for their survival. The Greens’ reneging on pre-election pledges have let all animals down.
Fine Gael’s attempts to stack public positions with their party cronies have let the concept of transparency down. And Fianna Fáil, who have failed to tackle the ongoing housing crisis, continue to let the entire country down.
So while we have certainly not being paying peanuts, we have got monkeys. Let’s give them their own habitat in the zoo. After all they love nothing more than peacocking and hanging about bars, and generally aping around. It could very well be the zoo’s biggest draw
A baby miracle that warmed all our hearts
THE news that two babies survived the Kentucky tornado after being placed in a bathtub along with a Bible is biblically dramatic.
As the deadly twister ripped through the State, canny granny Clara Lutz ensconced the tots – aged 15 months and three months – snug in the tub as her house began to reverberate and shake. But disaster struck as the baby-bearing tub was blown away.
Given the presence of the Bible in the tub one has to consider that divine intervention had a heavenly hand in saving the infants.