CORONATION STREET

■ STARVING FOR LOVE

When do Daniel and Daisy ever get to eat?

They can’t be in the same room together for five minutes without setting their heads on a collision course; they must be ravenous. On Valentine’s Day they find themselves in the back room of the Rovers (pictured) and Daisy leans in for yet another kiss. Give the woman a bromide cocktail! Daniel doesn’t seem to mind, though, and responds. Blowing out the candle, they head upstairs; call me old-fashioned, but at least finish the bottle of wine first.

Given her propensity for diving onto Daniel’s mouth, you have to wonder how Daisy’s lipstick and Daniel’s hair always stay intact. And sorry to bang on about it, but where’s Bertie? Daniel talks about him all the time, but he hasn’t been seen this year. How old is he now? By the time he returns, they’ll probably be celebrating his 18th.

Gemma’s in for a disappointing Valentine’s Day when Bernie gives her a voucher for Speed Daal, only to find that it’s one of the days it’s not valid. Oh, come on; the place is hardly going to be full. What couple is going to go to an empty restaurant? There’s more fun to be had at Tim and Sally’s when she suggests they play a ‘game’ of landlords and tenants. Alas, Elaine puts the kibosh on it, claiming sex is out of the question since Tim’s operation. Here’s the ending to the game – Sally, you’re the landlord, Elaine’s the tenant, and you chuck her out.