CORONATION STREET

GRANNY KNOWS BEST

Has there ever been a more miserable household? No wonder that Chesney and Gemma think that Joseph would be better off in Portugal with Granny Linda (quite frankly, he had a better life in Fiz’s attic). The farewell comes quickly when Linda has to dash home and Joseph says he’s happy to tag along. But after an emotional send-off (pictured), the couple discover he didn’t want to go. Will they catch him before the plane takes off? For his sake, let’s hope not. Fasten your seatbelt, Joseph, and dream of Ronaldo and the years ahead of you, downing Mateus Rosé.

The two hostelries are host to romance when Jon and Emma share a dinner at Speed Daal and Imran presents Toyah with an engagement ring over dessert at the Bistro. Both relationships are doomed, of course: Emma’s because she bumped off Jon’s grandad and Toyah’s because Imran slept with Abi, who’s scathing when she hears about the engagement. Hitting the vodka and back on drugs again, how long will it be before Abi spills the beans, especially now Kevin has thrown her out? You should know by now, Toyah: every time you say ‘No more secrets’ in Soapland, there are not only skeletons in the closet but a whacking great cemetery.

There’s a worry when Brian and Cathy return from Cornwall and he declares he’s interested in buying a shop just like the Kabin there. Please, no. It would truly be Land’s End for Weatherfield if we lose this pair.