SMOKES & DAGGERS

A mischievous mix of political asides with JOHN DRENNAN

WHILE leafing through the 1965 rules for national school teachers, Smokes noted ‘teachers are forbidden to keep or to act as assistants in keeping public houses or the sale of spiritous liquors’. One rural TD observed: ‘Half the pubs in rural Ireland will shut down if that’s enforced.’

FINE Gael’s attempt to reconnect the hierarchy with the rural grass roots at its Tullamore summit this week saw Simon Harris, pictured, wandering around with a bottle of beetroot juice. As steak-eating farmers glared at this concoction, it called to mind how former Northern secretary Peter Mandelson tried to bond with the locals by ordering a fish supper. He perked up at the sight of what he thought was guacamole, but it was mushy peas.

US PRESIDENT Joe Biden’s lack of connection to Kerry is no obstacle to his visiting the place – at least not according to Fine Gael TD Brendan Griffin. During questions to the Taoiseach, Mr Griffin said that, as the ‘estimated advertising value of such a visit can run into hundreds of millions, I ask that we prioritise a visit to

Co. Kerry’.

A QUERY from TD Jennifer MurnaneO’Connor, right, prompted a smile from Smokes due to the fact that it was met with a common-sense reply from Environment Minister Eamon Ryan, who is being vilified across rural Ireland. She asked if his department might provide for a coal-burning exemption for organisations with heritage vehicles such as steam engines. Mr Ryan said that any ban will ‘not impact on fuels supplied for the purposes of powering vintage machinery’.

THE urban-rural divide in Fine Gael has extended to

RTÉ correspondents. No sooner had Senator Micheál Carrigy called for an RTÉ midlands corr in the Seanad than Senator Barry Ward said: ‘Dún Laoghaire does not have an RTÉ correspondent either. We are an important region.’ Great to see such under-represented locales banding together to take on the Dublin Meeja.