CORONATION STREET

When anyone turns up from the past, they are invariably harbouring a secret. Lovely as it is to see Spider back, he has ‘dodgy’ all but tattooed on his forehead. Toyah, however, couldn’t recognise a murky history if she was drowning in it – which she always is. When Spider is released after an arrest, Toyah is there with a kiss (below), which leads to the bedroom. That didn’t take her long, did it? The embalming fluid was barely dry on Imran before she offered Spider accommodation; now she’s up the stairs quicker than… well, a spider up a drainpipe.

But what’s Spider really up to, and who is on the other end of his mobile when he says he can’t wait to get back? Something tells me it’s not the station sergeant.

It’s Sinister Cellphone Week in Weatherfield. When Stephen’s credit card is rejected, he calls his Italian bank (oh, let’s hear him speak the lingo for once in his alleged Italian life!), then uses a card in the name of… Mrs Gabrielle Reid. Told you he was up to something. Or maybe Gabrielle is having an illicit affair with Spider, who’s plotting to return to Italy!