Walford’s Thelma and Louise they ain’t

Will Janine stop at nothing to keep Mick and Linda apart? On the day of Linda’s court hearing, she’s seething (well, it’s more of a Vesuvius rumbling really) when she realises that if Linda’s banged up, Mick will be visiting her. Devising a plot to bring Linda down, she gives Jada money and blackmails her into helping (above). Suffice it to say the pair are no Thelma and Louise, and surely in the whole of the East End, Janine could have found a more competent accomplice.

Jada has all the energy of a limp lettuce and, sure enough, she instantly regrets her actions and tells Janine they’ve gone too far. Naturally, Janine doesn’t give two hoots what Jada thinks, and the blackmail continues.

In better news, it’s Dana’s leaving party. With any luck, she’ll take Jada with her and they’ll pursue their double act — Dull and Duller — far, far away from the Square. Worried about her dad’s behaviour, Dana tries to defer her place at university. Hang on… when has the girl ever opened a book?

Following Harvey into Peggy’s, she’s in for a shock as a surprise party awaits her. Oh dear, they never end well. Surprise parties are right up there with fairm-ly dinners and the Chainsaw Massacre.