Ronnie in the wrong but Roy pulls out of the tackle
WHEN it comes to reputational rehabilitation, a cross word from a disreputable source is hard to beat. Such were the giddy standards in cringe television this week that even Matt Hancock — this time in a real cesspit as opposed to the virtual one he spent his time knee-deep in as part of Boris Johnston’s government — had his thunder stolen after professing that ‘falling in love’ was his only failing.
But then, no one stood a chance when set against that moment when five-time Ballon d’Or winner Cristiano Ronaldo was asked by five-time Sycophant Of The Year winner Piers Morgan whether Gary Neville had been using his former Manchester United’s team-mate’s name to further his career.
This would be Gary Neville, eight-time Premier League winner, multi-millionaire hotelier, football club owner and broadcaster, who Morgan obviously believes is in the same business as his own, hitching a ride to fame on the back of more capable others. Ronaldo, showing the sort of consistency for poor public relations that has sadly eluded his form on the pitch this season, duly obliged — insisting Neville was no friend of his and he would not be having him around for dinner any time soon.
It was the first nice thing anyone has said about Neville since he was signed up by beIN Sports, the Qatari-owned media group whose commitment to employing the odious (laddie culture vultures Richard
Keys and Andy Gray found refuge there) has not yet extended to offering Morgan a job.
In an instant, all of Neville’s recent troubles vanished into thin air, proof that getting the right person to say a wrong word about you can get you out of any hole.
Of course, it works the other way too, which is why Roy Keane can hardly have taken much comfort from confirmation he will always be welcome to a feed of Clonakilty pudding around at Ronaldo’s pad.
Keane may have always taken a jaundiced view of punditry, but talk is his career now and it has been a bad couple of weeks.
His failure to condemn Ronaldo for refusing to come off the bench against Tottenham jarred with his no-nonsense persona and his general view that the collective trumps the individual, with the suspicion that the courage of his convictions did not extend to censuring his former team-mate.
While Keane also had his United career terminated by an explosive interview, the sentiments he expressed after the team took a hammering by Middlesbrough in 2005 was rooted in the failure of players to put the team before themselves.
Ronaldo (left) struck the complete opposite note this week when deliberately setting a match to his United contract. Keane’s discomfort is that somehow, he is perceived to be on the same side of the value wall as Ronaldo.
And that is really only a place where the likes of Morgan should get to hang out.