The never end­ing frus­tra­tion of a cer­tain air­line

The Irish Times Magazine - - SOUND OFF -

When you com­pare the prices of flights, an un­named air­line will of­fer you the best deal for get­ting from point A to point B.

When you make the de­ci­sion to go with this of­fer, there are lots of ex­tra costs for ba­sic things like lug­gage or a seat reser­va­tion.

Once you fin­ish adding on all these “ex­tras” you’ll re­alise that the cost of the jour­ney is ac­tu­ally the same if not more than the other of­fers which ini­tially seemed out­ra­geous in com­par­i­son to that of the un­named air­line. But you’ve put in the work to get this far so you might as well just go through with it.

Once you get to the air­port, go through all the de­mor­al­is­ing se­cu­rity checks, buy a medi­ocre snack, then at the gate a rep­re­sen­ta­tive of the un­named air­line will eye you with dis­ap­point­ment.

If you’re lucky enough to get on the plane early be­cause you pur­chased that priv­i­lege, theme songs play con­tin­u­ously on a short loop.

There are more medi­ocre snacks at even higher prices. When the plane lands, you see your gui­tar get­ting thrown on the hard ground. When you col­lect it, it’s been se­verely dam­aged.

This un­named air­line will con­tinue to find ways to drain your fi­nances and en­ergy, and in­spire other air­lines to do the same.

An ex­tra seat for your vi­o­lin, un­der the name “MR. EX­TRA ITEM SEAT” is booked. Then you need to pur­chase a seat next to yours for this MR. EX­TRA ITEM SEAT. You make it on to the plane and a rep­re­sen­ta­tive from the un­named air­line will tell you that ac­tu­ally MR. EX­TRA ITEM SEAT is not al­lowed to sit in the mid­dle seat, and ac­tu­ally he can only sit at the win­dow, but of course the win­dow seat is taken by some­one who does not want to move. It never ends.

Amer­i­can multi- in­stru­men­tal­ist and com­poser Peter Brod­er­ick, known for his col­lab­o­ra­tions with Dan­ish group Efterk­lang, will per­form at Pav­il­ion Theatre, Dun Laoghaire on Sun­day, Septem­ber 16th. pavil­ionthe­atre. ie

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