Five steps to set better boundaries
boundaries = little self- esteem
Having a strong set of personal and professional boundaries gives you the power to strengthen your self- esteem. Your boundaries are based on your values. Boundaries define how much or how little you respect yourself. Boundaries are your friend.
I don’t like to talk on the phone after 9pm, so when I’m at home I set my phone to “do not disturb” from 9pm until 9am. This allows me to spend time after work with my family, which is one of my personal values. Once you are clear on what matters most to you by understanding your personal values, you can then start setting your boundaries. Just make sure that you communicate this to other people! This is key. Don’t focus on setting your boundaries around other people in your life; your boundaries are about you.
change others, but you can change you
We cannot change other people. Much as we would like to think we can, we are also not responsible for what they say, the choices they make or their reactions to life events or things we’ve said. Since you can’t change other people, learn how to change how you deal with them to reduce your stress.
else pushes your
Knowing what your boundaries are allows you to plan how to manage yourself when others try and push yours ( and they will, because that’s life. The best way to figure out how to manage yourself when people cross or push your boundaries is to spend some time asking yourself how you will respond. Don’t leave this part to chance, as it will result in you reacting rather than responding and maybe even compromising your boundaries.
behaviour, not just your words, speak for you
It is hugely important to communicate your boundaries clearly to people and then let your behaviour around those boundaries do the talking. So if anyone calls me after 9pm and I answer the phone, I am clearly saying “It’s okay to call me after 9” when it is not! By not sticking to my boundary through my behaviour, I am saying one thing and doing another. People will respond to your behaviour, not just your words.